It begins… Oatmeal for breakfast

      3 Comments on It begins… Oatmeal for breakfast


I’ve been trying to work with Gavin on staying out of Lizze’s personal space.  Since he’s been home, he’s already been violating her personal space on numerous occasions. 

Before everyone is going to jump on the autism train, take a deep breath and hear me out. 

Boundary issues are very common with those on the autism spectrum.  However, while that may play a small part in this, there is much more going on behind the scenes. 

Gavin is a child with reactive attachment disorder and also a very long, documented history of targeting Lizze with inappropriate behavior. This appears to be more of the same.  He’s brushing up against her and is making contact with her breasts as well. 



Yesterday I had to inform him that if he violated his mother’s personal space again, he would lose his choice of meals and instead receive the default, which is oatmeal. 

Shortly after being told that, he violated her personal space once again. 

He’s not doing this to anyone else, only his mother.  That is very consistent with reactive attachment behaviors. For whatever reason, the mother is usually the target of these behaviors. 



These things happen in a way that tend to make it look like Lizze is making this all up.  That’s another RAD this thing as well.  It’s called splitting.  It’s essentially a divide and conquer type thing.  The behavior is intended to create tension and chaos.  The ultimate goal being to pit Lizze and I against each other.

Having said that, I have been witness to these things on too many occasions not to know what’s going on. 

At this point in time, Gavin is doing well with his brothers and that’s a huge plus. However, if he continues to violate clearly placed boundaries, we’ll,  I don’t know what’s going to happen. 

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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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chris crane
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chris crane

So he molests his mother and then he gets oatmeal ? what ,the moment he touched me i would slap his hands away and scream get away from me , you don't get to molest me without having to deal with me ,and i can and will longer louder than you and if the police are called ,YOU will be the one leaving,not I . It is my house ,my rules my way ALWAYS When you molest,your world should end ,not get oatmeal,because the next person that he does it to might kill him or at least lock him up… Read more »

Lost_and_Tired
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Exactly. This triggers a whole PTSD thing for Lizze, so she deals with it at the moment the best way she can. However, you better believe I lay into him.

The reason we do the oatmeal is because that the equivalent of a more severe punishment for anyone else.

We have to use what works. Gavin will never learn but as far as consequences are concerned, this is one that Gavin absolutely HATES.

Rob Gorski
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Exactly. This triggers a whole PTSD thing for Lizze, so she deals with it at the moment the best way she can. However, you better believe I lay into him.

The reason we do the oatmeal is because that the equivalent of a more severe punishment for anyone else.

We have to use what works. Gavin will never learn but as far as consequences are concerned, this is one that Gavin absolutely HATES.