Recently, someone (cough cough MBee cough cough) brought up a really good point. There are things that I don’t always share.
I don’t not share them because I’m hiding something, they just don’t seem that important. Things like, what we eat for dinner or some of the everyday positives.
The reason for this is that I simply don’t have the time and energy to report every single detail of my life.
It’s hard enough to keep up with all that I already share. While much of what I share could be deemed, negative or unpleasant, it’s what our life is actually like. That’s not to say that good things don’t happen, it’s just that they are often drown out by all the unpleasant things that are happening.
I make a concerted effort to both focus on and share the positives as often as I can.
Unfortunately, when you’re in the thick of it and dealing with this stuff, focusing on the positives proves to be much more challenging than one might think.
As an example, and please understand that this is only meant to help you gain perspective, this is what’s happened in the last 24 hours alone.
Gavin was been confirmed to be both psychotic and manic, which is a huge deal and something that is very serious, as he can unravel very, very quickly.
Within the last 1.5 hours, both water and gas were shut off. I was able to immediately fix the water as it was the first to occur. Dominion arrived a few minutes later and actually shut us off. You may be asking yourself, didn’t that just happen about few weeks ago? Well, your right.
Here’s what happened. About 7 months ago, when I made a payment to Dominion, I accidentally wrote the the check out of the wrong account and it was subsequently returned. That was totally my fault and I accept complete and total responsibility for that.
It happens, at least in my life.
Anyways, when we were shut off a few weeks ago, we were actually shut off for a few days. I made several calls to confirm the amount that we needed to pay in order to get the gas turned back on and our account back on track.
They gave me an amount.
I even called back again because I wanted to make sure that we were told the correct amount because I was basically robbing from Peter to pay Paul.
Again, they gave me an amount and it was consistent with what I had already been told, so I made the payment and things were turned back on.
Today, Dominion showed up again, this time with a much higher amount, that’s significantly different from what I had been told or what my statement reflects.
The guy that came out even said that this wasn’t right and he tried to call and figure out how this could have happen. Unfortunately, Dominion wants us shut off because of the bounced check 7 months ago and this guy has to do his job.
Ultimately, it’s my fault for what happened 7 months ago. Having said that, why is it just now becoming an issue, when only a few weeks before, everything had been fixed and we are moving forward? Perhaps an accounting delay?
As you can see, just in the past 24 hours, things have gone down hill and while I’m hoping we’ve hit the bottom, past experience tells me we haven’t.
I’m really overwhelmed at the moment and as we move into Father’s Day, I feel like a complete failure and totally undeserving of the holiday.
Lately, I’ve been distracted by Gavin’s health, this Child Protective Services debacle and Lizze’s constant pain. For a long time I was sharing daily victories and forcing myself to find at least one positive thing to share each day.
I have gotten away from that and I will work harder to remember to do that.
However, it’s important to remember that sometimes, in our lives, there isn’t a whole lot of positive.
Having said that, the comment that my reader had made makes a great deal of sense… So, in the spirit of honesty, I want to open up the floor and give you all the opportunity to ask me any questions you may have. Perhaps you want something clarified or you’ve had a burning question that you’re just dying to ask.
If they’re serious questions, I’ll do my best to answer them as honestly as I can. I won’t entertain those trolling and looking to start drama though. 🙂
Don’t worry about them being too personal, if they are and I’m uncomfortable, I’ll pass on the question but remain unoffended. 🙂
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