What happened to Elliott today?

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I mentioned earlier that something had happened to Elliott today. For awhile now, I’ve felt like something was bothering him and for some reason, he wouldn’t tell me what that something was.

Everything sorta came to a head today and resulted in a mini nervous breakdown type of thing. 

While I’m not saying that’s what it was, it’s the only way I can think to describe it.  He completely broke  down and spent a large part of the afternoon sobbing and hiding. 

The trigger was when I was fixing his stuffed animal that was missing an eye. 



He has this stuffed kitten that was missing an eye.  I used an old, no longer used stuffed animal and did a double eye transplant.  It worked out really well but in a bid to make him laugh. I glued the duck that donated it’s eyes back together but used the old eye from the cat and made it into a cyclops.

Elliott took off running and crying. 

I felt so horrible.  It was like one minute we were having fun and the next he’d lost it. 



Lizze was able to calm him down but he was so upset, we knew that there was more going on. 

Thankfully, today was therapy with Dr. Pattie. Lizze and I made arrangements for Gavin and Emmett so we could focus on Elliott tonight. 

image

The four of us talked and we both learned some new things and were reminded of others.

While Elliott wasn’t very forthcoming, it was clear that something was wrong.  I doubt that we learned everything that’s nothing him but something significant was learned. 

A huge part of what’s going on with Elliott is that he’s worried about his Mommy.  Every single day, he sees her suffering and in pain and it scares him. He’s so sad that Lizze is hurting and he worries about it all the time. 

He’s never said anything about it until last night. 

I’ve long suspected that what Lizze is going through would impact the boys and Elliott is easily the most sensitive of the three. 

He’s very much like me, a caretaker and a fixer.  Unfortunately, this is something that neither him nor I can fix. 

Lizze feels absolutely horrible about this.  It’s not like any of this is her fault or within her control. She also does a really good job of hiding what she’s going through. 

Truthfully though, as of late, it’s getting harder to hide these things because they are so much worse for her now.  The other thing is that Elliott is so perceptive and would likely pick up on things anyway. 

At this point the plan is to help him feel more impowered and less helpless. 

I think that we are going to have more frequent talks with him about this and make sure that he fully understands that while Mommy is sick and she hurts, she’s not the kind of sick that’s going to take her away.  We’ve recently had 3 deaths in the family and everyone was sick. 

I fear that Elliott has generalized this and now associates being sick like Lizze is and dying. 

We have reassured him that she’s not dying and that yes, Mommy hurts a lot, she’s going to be okay. 

This has also motivated Lizze to keep fighting everything she’s suffering from.  Getting back on her feet won’t be easy but I truly believe if anyone can do it, it’ll be Lizze. 

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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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lostandtiredMeaghanGoodthefuzzycabbageLynda Stacy-VisyakLost and Tired Recent comment authors

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Silachan
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Is there any way you can recruit Elliot into helping Lizzie with minor tasks that would save her energy but would also help him feel like he’s being really helpful and also has a bit of control? Like maybe getting her a glass of water instead of her getting up to get it, or getting her book/tablet/whatever for her sometimes, maybe covering her up with a blanket when she takes a nap. Little things that would help Lizzie out a bit, but could also help Elliot feel like he’s doing his part in helping mommy feel better. Just an idea.

KyahJ
Guest

That’s a great idea. I was thinking along the same lines. He could also help her with laundry, or bring her dinner plate to her, etc. I think making him feel like he’s helping her will help him a great deal.
It’s amazing how perceptive children can be. They know when something isn’t right. It has got to be very hard for him to know his mommy isn’t like other mommies and is in so much pain. He’s a special young man, very caring & loving. Treasure that.

MeaghanGood
Guest
MeaghanGood

Silachan I agree. Whenever I’m worried about something, doing something to help — even something small — makes me feel better. I had a friend out of state whom I found out had a serious illness and was expected to die. Of course I was extremely upset and became hysterical, crying etc., after I got the news. Then my mom suggested I mail him a get-well card and offered her card-making computer software. So I selected a card, printed it, signed it, mailed it and immediately felt much better. (I remember the card well; it had a cartoon of a mouse… Read more »

thefuzzycabbage
Guest
thefuzzycabbage

Silachan Just what I was thinking. Good ideas.

lostandtired
Guest

thefuzzycabbage Silachan I was thinking something similar as well.  Good idea.

thefuzzycabbage
Guest
thefuzzycabbage

Silachan Just what I was thinking. Good ideas.

Lynda Stacy-Visyak
Guest
Lynda Stacy-Visyak

Cool picture Elliott.
P.S. the new server layout is hard to read on a phone. Just an FYI. No worries, I’ll try and make it happen!

Randall Ric
Guest
Randall Ric

I read the post that is understandable, Also as a side note I think the site is having a mini meltdown it posted twice something from may when gavin was still in School.

MeaghanGood
Guest
MeaghanGood

You mentioned Elliot had been diagnosed with depression and was taking meds. That was a few months ago; have they helped at all?

Silachan
Guest

MeaghanGood if i recall correctly i believe they had to take him off the meds for anxiety because of the side effects

MeaghanGood
Guest
MeaghanGood

Silachan MeaghanGood I thought they put him on meds for depression too, though.

Lost and Tired
Guest
Lost and Tired

Actually what happened was I fixed a problem with posts that were scheduled to posts but never did. As soon as I did that, everything that was in a Missed Schedule status went through.

Lost and Tired
Guest
Lost and Tired

You should be seeing the mobile site. If not, scroll all the way down to the very bottom and tap the link in the lower left that says view our mobile site.

Lynda Stacy-Visyak
Guest
Lynda Stacy-Visyak

Well that was an easy fix! Thanks.

lostandtired
Guest

Silachan MeaghanGood KyahJ thanks everyone. He was on an anti-depressant but it was removed.  It wasn’t working and what he needs he can’t have. He needs to be on an ssri but he has a bad reaction to them.

lostandtired
Guest

Silachan MeaghanGood KyahJ thanks everyone. He was on an anti-depressant but it was removed.  It wasn’t working and what he needs he can’t have. He needs to be on an ssri but he has a bad reaction to them.

MeaghanGood
Guest
MeaghanGood

lostandtired Have you talked to your doctor about Wellbutrin? It helps me and I don’t think it’s an SSRI.

lostandtired
Guest

MeaghanGood yes we have. I can’t remember why it wasn’t an option  but it wasn’t.  I’m gonna have to ask the next time we’re there.   Thanks

lostandtired
Guest

MeaghanGood yes we have. I can’t remember why it wasn’t an option  but it wasn’t.  I’m gonna have to ask the next time we’re there.   Thanks