This is part two of my post about what happened at school with Gavin. The following is why I’m having such a hard time with this whole thing.
Going into this, there are going to be things that are difficult to understand, let alone believe. For more details and back story Please feel free to read my previous posts or search the archives.
Since this whole thing went down on Friday with Gavin, I’ve been really struggling with feelings of frustration, anger and even betrayal.
I believed Gavin. I bought his story that he didn’t know how to do his Math and I believed him. I feel like such an idiot…..again. This isn’t the first time I’ve been fooled and it likely won’t be the last.
One thing that we should get out of the way is this. Along with all of the health and emotional challenges that Gavin has, he’s also living with Reactive Attachment Disorder or RAD. This is an enormous challenge because he’s a very gifted lier and can play the victim so well, he should be up for an Oscar. This is the part that you just have to accept.
You know, I’m always so careful with Gavin because I know what he’s capable of. I’ve been burned by him so many times and yet I still give him the benefit of the doubt, more times than I should.
Lizze and I both have fought for him and moved mountains to help him with whatever he needs.
To realize that
we I have been fooled again, feels like an enormous betrayal. We honestly believed that he was incapable of doing his work and even have him setup for intelligence testing with Dr. Pattie because we need to get a baseline and see if anything has changed in the years since his last test.
To make things even more challenging for us as parents is the fact that he is dealing with cognitive regression. It’s absolutely conceivable that he couldn’t do the work.
As a parent who’s heart is broken by the challenges my son is facing in life, I’m compelled to believe the best in him and give him the benefit of the doubt. The problem with that is Gavin knows that I feel this way and is able to exploit it at times.
Lizze and I will watch Gavin like a hawk until we get comfortable that his behavior is under control and he’s making better choices. We eventually let our guards down and that when we get burned.
Right now I’m angry with myself. I’m angry with Gavin and I feel betrayed.
Still, a part of me believes that he’s unable to do the work. It’s a vicious, never ending cycle and I’m so tired of it.
We see Dr. Pattie on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week and we will formulate a place of attack. We will have to convene another meeting of his teachers and make sure we are all on the same page.
This is something that has to be addressed and we need Gavin to get any help he needs to be as happy, healthy and well adjusted as possible. This is so incredibly frustrating and I just don’t know what to do.
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Why are you always the victim? No matter what’s happening in your house out why, it’s always “boo hoo…poor Rob”.
Boo hoo…your teenage son lied to you. Welcome to the world. It’s not RAD. It’s life.
Please…grow a pair and stop being the perpetual victim. It’s embarrassing, and you do it post after post.
I am so sorry yall are having to go thru all this. Do you see what stress you are putting on your family including gavin for no reason. I know you will do what is best for gavin but please dont make him do the work because he has betrayed you, lied to you, probably made you feel stupid, etc as that makes his homework about you and not him. The teacher said and has said before that he knows the work. he practically DIES everytime he goes to the cleveland clinic for IVIG, he has RAD, he has some other mental thing, bi polar i think (forgive me if i got that wrong), plus he is autistic. that is enough for one person to have on his plate. again forget the homework. in the grand scheme of things it doesnt matter. just my opinion and i know he is your boy, but my God please think about adjusting the iep. if the teacher is going to send all the work home to be done or finished that in my opinion is rediculus. great school, i understand that, but if she wants/feels the need for the work to be done, she needs to get him to do it as that is the TEACHERS job not yours.