Special Needs Parenting – Dealing with Guilt, Anger and Resentment

Guilt is a very powerful thing, especially when it comes to special needs parenting.  I think it’s pretty common to feel guilty for a whole lot of things, especially when it comes to our children. 

It’s also pretty common to feel guilty about getting frustrated with them or overwhelmed by their behaviors.

The truth is, many times these behaviors are outside of the child’s control.  That being said, it doesn’t change the impact said behaviors can have on the parent or their environment.
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I feel like many people, myself included, sometimes think that because our kids have disabilities or face challenges that make life a struggle at times, that as their parents, we should have an infinite amount of patience.



Feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, exhausted, angry or even resentful, is not something a parent should be ashamed of or feel guilty about.   These feelings are natural and it doesn’t signify that you love your child any less. 

Personally, I thinks it’s important to embrace these feelings and not ignore them.  They are part of who we are and if we ignore them, it can be harder to keep these feelings in check.

At the end of the day, it matters more how we deal with what we feel than the simple fact that we feel them.

This is of course, only my opinion.

This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 3. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉

Update: If you like this post, check out these as well. Click —–> Here <—– for my Top Posts.



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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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jaxxma
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jaxxma

Couldn’t agree more, there are days when I feel like the scum of the earth for not being able to cope with J’s general “otherness” and when you couple that to insane traffic, crazy office hours, mother with MS and an underemployed husband “renovating” every room in the house plus all the medical bills we are currently dealing with I just want to hibernate for a few months.  But then something good happens, something that makes it all worthwhile, like J completing his vocational skills tasks and not only enjoying it but also deciding that he can “maybe just be… Read more »

Janet Meliti
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Janet Meliti

Thanks so much for this post I’m in total agreement with you nice to see that were on the same page. Totally needed to see this coming from a parent like you. Wonderful.

rjones22
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rjones22

it is uncanny how you posted what you did. we had a doctors appointment today and last night i told my son “be sure not to give me any trouble tomorrow”. by trouble I meant get a bath, dressed and ready with his iphone ipad and or macbook or whatever to head out the door at 1:00. Then I felt so guilty as he doesnt give me “trouble” it is just so frustrating that he doesnt feel good enough to bathe, get his stuff together to go, etc and I like to be on time. I try to be calm… Read more »

jimphd
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jimphd

I’m new to this blog, but based on the few responses to the posts I’ve read, I’m wondering if some of your readers are special needs themselves.
I’ve never seen such rambling, grammatically insufficient posts in my life. I’m actually wondering if they are trolls bent on distorting your message with their own rambling subterfuge.

Dustyelle
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Dustyelle

I’m new to this site. I have a 13 year kid son with Aspergers, O.D.D., and C.D.
Those are his main issues. He became very dangerous and is now living at a residential for the past year and a half.
He’s been doing better. He gets intense therapy.
I’ve been dealing with terrible guilt. I know that residential is the best place for him but it’s hard . I know of no one in this situation .