I’m so incredibly overwhelmed by this whole thing with Lizze. Trying to get her the help she needs has proven to be extremely difficult for a number of reasons.
Right now the biggest obstacle is insurance.
There is a DBT therapy group about 5 minutes from our house but they don’t take our insurance. The next closest is 30-40 minutes away and then of course, there’s the Cleveland Clinic and that’s well over an hour drive, on good day.
The only place we know for sure takes our insurance is the Cleveland Clinic.
I don’t know what to do and I feel like our options are limited.
To be completely honest with you, I’ve spoken with her psychiatrist at the Cleveland Clinic and expressed my concerns. He explained his approach and I get it, I really do.
I know that he’s taking a sound medical approach however, that’s not the problem. The problem is that we aren’t a typical family and are dealing with things that are relatively unique. As such, his blanket approach to dealing with BDP is something that we would struggle with on the best of days.
It’s not a matter of being unwilling to do the work or even travel. We still don’t have a car, insurance is a major obstacle and we’re still dealing with life threatening health issues with Gavin.
We’re meeting with Lizze’s case manager in an effort to try and get this figured out and possibly find a way to overcome some of these obstacles.
Unfortunately, her new psychiatrist doesn’t consider this to be complaint with treatment. Before he will help her with her depression, she has to be in DBT therapy and he’s unwilling to sorta meet half way.
We have a very unusually complex family situation and we never, ever fit the mold for anything.
Dr. Pattie tried to explain to him that Lizze is drowning and needs help now. She explained that we are working very hard to get into this therapy but it’s just not practical at this point.
I explored the option of self-pay and there is no way we can afford it. We’re talking thousands of dollars and I’m not yet in a position where I can pull that off and I feel incredibly guilty for that.
It’s really difficult to help people we just met, get up to speed on the complexity of our lives. Whenever we have to bring in a new professional, it takes a long time for them to come to grips with the reality that this stuff is really happening to one family. This is why we really don’t like to add people to the mix. It’s exhausting and very time consuming.
When I look at the approach this psychiatrist is dead set on taking with Lizze, again I understand why and to be honest it even makes sense.
However, he’s removing Lizze from the context of her life, placing her in a vacuum and expecting her to be able to do all these things. The reality is that she doesn’t live in a vacuum and we certainly can’t shed the context of her life.
We need someone that is able to look at the big picture and build a treatment plan that is possible. No one is asking for easy but we need to have a fighting chance and at this point, we’re beating our heads into the wall and getting nowhere fast.
Lizze is very quickly losing hope we can’t allow that to happen.
For starters, I stand behind my wife in her decision to seek a second opinion. We done some research and found some local doctors that with the help of her case manager, might become an option that we didn’t have before.
As one of my readers so aptly put it, she needs a doctor that doesn’t see her as patient #346.
She needs someone that is willing to work with her. Someone that can see how much she’s trying and help her gain the tools and skills necessary to overcome as much of this as possible and regain control over her life.
Beginning tomorrow, we will reaching out and attempting to locate a better fit.
This isn’t really even about the antidepressants that I’ve been focusing on recently. It’s about someone being able to see Lizze and an individual and not just a diagnosis.
Lizze is feeling powerless right now and that kills me. She hasn’t given up yet and I want to make sure we get her the support she needs to make sure she never reaches the point where she does……
If there’s a lesson to be learned here it’s this. As a person or patient, you have the responsibility and right to question your medical care. If something doesn’t feel right or you are uncomfortable with a retain approach, you have the right to seek a second opinion. If you feel that a doctor isn’t a good fit, you have the right to refuse their treatment and seek a new doctor.
This doesn’t mean that that doctor is bad or has done something wrong. It simply means that they aren’t the right doctor for you.
I’m quite sure that the psychiatrist at the Cleveland Clinic has and will continue to help a great many people. Nothing about this is personal. To be honest, aside from the fact that he’s never seen NCIS, I actually enjoyed talking to him. He’s a cool guy. He’s just not the right fit.
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