I’ve come to a very painful realization tonight

  • Post author:
  • Post comments:13 Comments
  • Reading time:4 mins read

Things just keep getting worse for Gavin.  He told us this afternoon that he almost collapsed again today at school. His legs got weak on him but this time they didn’t totally give out. 

Once again, he never told his teachers or anyone else at school. 

On the bright side, he did tell us the same day it happened.  If there’s a positive side to this, that’s basically it. 

We received his midterm-report today and it’s not looking good at all. 


We met with Dr. Pattie tonight and we were going over all of this.  Gavin was working on his homework and we took a look at it.  It was a hot mess and that’s putting it mildly.

His answers weren’t even close to being right.

What’s so frustrating is that we aren’t sure what the problem is.  It’s very clear that he’s not comprehending a large portion of pretty much everything.

Dr. Pattie is pretty convinced that while Gavin may be reading the directions, he simply doesn’t comprehend what he’s being asked to do. 

I got to be completely honest here.  I think she’s right. 
I believe that I’ve been making assumptions in regards to Gavin’s educational situation that were somewhat misguided. 

We’ve been sorting going on the assumption that Gavin wasn’t taking the time to read the directions and that’s why he’s been having such a hard with his schoolwork. This makes sense because he’s always rushing through his work.

Where I think I went wrong, has to do with Gavin’s ability to comprehend what he’s reading.  The work that Gavin is doing, in most cases is really simple, with the exception of math. 

I’ve been assuming that because the directions are pretty simple and straight forward, that he might just be rushing through his work and simply not taking the time to read the directions and subsequently follow them. This is where I believe that I became misguided.
Simply because the directions are rudimentary, doesn’t necessarily mean that Gavin has the capacity to understand them. 

Lizze, Dr. Pattie and I all agree that Gavin is very likely no longer able to comprehend even the simplest instructions. 

He swears up and down that he reads the directions.

I’ll be totally honest with you.  I think that it was less painful for me to go with the notion that Gavin is just slacking off or rushing through his work and making careless mistakes.  That’s something that we can work with.  It’s tangible and something we can correct. 
If Gavin’s lost the ability to really comprehend anything he’s reading, that means that we may be losing him again and I just can’t bare the thought of going through that again. 

At this point, Lizze and I have to meet with the school and Dr. Pattie is going to continue working on the intelligence testing.

I’m feeling pretty crappy right now and I wish there was something I could to make this better.  Aside from the socialization aspect of school, I’m really wondering what the point is anymore.

This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 3. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉

Update: If you like this post, check out these as well. Click —–> Here <—– for my Top Posts.

“Like” me on Facebook

Visit the My Autism Help Forums

To reach me via email, please Contact Me

Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
0 0 votes
Article Rating

Join The Conversation

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

most voted
newest oldest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

i am sorry for what you r going thru. if he has  a B in english and a D in math then i think it is how math class is being handled. english class has directions and he seems to be getting the directions there. I am all for him staying at school even if for socialization and dont worry about the other stuff. Again does it matter?

Missy Whitley

My oldest is going downhill too We have a Domain Meeting set to bump her up from her 504. HUGS!!!


I am going to be on the opposite side of home schooling.  While homeschooling is an option, from reading your blog it does not seem like the BEST option.  I say this only because quite frankly you do not need another thing added to your plate.  The brief time that all three boys are at school during the day may be the only thing keeping you sane at this point.  You do not need to add the stress of lesson planning and then teaching Gavin to the long list of your other duties.  Plus if he is going to be independent the socialization of school situations is so necessary for that to occur, it is not as if like other home schooling parents you can sign him up for soccer or dance lessons and plan field trips with other homeschooling groups.  I think homeschooling would further isolate Gavin and you and that the benefits would not out way the cons.  I am curious as another poster wrote whether there is a special needs school or program available.

Marcus Harris Ila Adkins

Aww this sucks. If Gavin isn’t comprehending what he is reading, then maybe they should use other methods, so that he can learn & be successful. Mix in lower level tasks so that he CAN complete something, then praise him, so he doesn’t constantly feel like everything is a struggle. They can change things to suit his needs so he can learn. Examples: Adaptive books/instructions/lessons using PEC cards, TEACHH methods, visual instruction cards, 1-on-1 time with teacher or paraprofessional verbalizing & showing him what needs done. There are a lot of different ways to learn something, it doesn’t all have to be with written words. Another option to think about all together, homeschooling. ((Hugs))

Lost and Tired

Me too

Jude Leobold

I might be also

Jude Leobold

can I just say..please let go…and let GOD….He will be up all night anyway

Lost and Tired

Thanks everyone


Is a special needs school or program an option? As hard as it is to
think that his mental capabilities and dwindled so dramatically from
what I have been reading (and in more than just in the area of school
but in simple instructions at home as well), it might be something to
think about if you have any in the area. The benefit of such a
school/program is most of them have on site therapist (of all sorts)
plus with Gavin’s medical issues, all of the programs have at least one
if not more nurses on duty at all time which could benefit him. He would
still have the socialization benefit  but without all the “grades and
homework” they could focus more on what Gavin really needs. One on one
attention and focusing on him being the most independent and capable
young man that he can be. They would work on real life goals instead of
academic goals. I am sure Gavin likes where he is and the transition
would be something new for everyone but it might be something to think

Ginger Lowery Anton

I agree ! Homeschool

Devin Smith

Prayers for the Lost and Tired family


I’m so sorry.

Avia Batya