The boys have had a pretty good day today. I wanted to try and do something kinda fun, so when I ordered groceries, I added some things to the list that we could cook on the grill. It’s nothing spectacular but it’s a change of pace and the boys love cooking on the grill.
Emmett physically went to school today for in person learning and had a fantastic day. Elliott is still remote learning full time because his school hasn’t reopened and won’t until the fall.
Gavin approached me this afternoon about learning some new skills that he thinks would be useful for when he moves out. I was kinda caught off guard by his request, and some of the things he wants to learn are sorta random, but I think it’s fantastic. I’ll absolutely help him any way I can.
As for me, I’ve had a really good day. I don’t feel like I accomplished a great deal but I do feel like I’ve taken an important stand in my life, and that matters. The kids feel better and I was able to provide them with that relief. As a parent, I know I can’t fix everything but I can shield them from quite a bit.
Making difficult decisions is part of being a parent. Not everyone will understand why I make the decisions I do, and that’s okay. I’m not here to make friends or protect everyone’s feelings. My job is to protect my children and ensure that they have every opportunity to feel safe, loved, happy, and hopeful. That’s my job and it’s the most important job I will ever have.
When I make a difficult decision, I don’t take it lightly. I understand the consequences, and that goes both ways. There are consequences for making a decision and there are consequences for not making a decision. Either way, I have to be able to live with those consequences.
As I’m laying in bed tonight writing this, my hope is that everyone involved, sees this as an opportunity for growth, healing, and positive change. Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees. We need the world to stop spinning, just long enough to get our footing, and hit the reset button. I know that sounds vague but the whole point is that every situation is an opportunity to learn, grow, and do better. That only works, however, if we embrace those opportunities, and make the most of them.
I need to help the kids pick up and move forward with their lives but that doesn’t mean we want to leave anyone behind either. What it does mean is that we will no longer be spinning our wheels, and pretending that the car is moving. It means that we move forward, even if not everyone chooses to move forward with us.
Like I said, parenting is hard. Being a single parent can be even harder. Factor in some special needs and you’re dealing with something entirely different.
I’m proud of myself for being able to make these tough decisions because I don’t know that everyone could. I’m proud of my kids for speaking their minds and making their feelings known. All three of my boys have some many amazing qualities that they have gotten from their mom and myself. I’m proud of who they are and I’m so excited to see who they will become. It’s truly an honor to be a part of their lives and that’s something I will never take for granted.
