Last night was another long night. Emmett John woke up about 3:30 am screaming again. We couldn't do much of anything to console him. I wish I knew what was going on. Lizze ended up taking him downstairs about 4:00 am.  She is upstairs now with him sleeping. These nights are killing us....

Gavin got off to school today in a great mood. He doesn't like to talk on the way to school all the time. What he was saying didn't make much sense. They were like strung together incoherent thoughts. When we got to school he got out of the car and ran to the door. Just watching him I realize we are loosing more of him again. I don't know how he didn't just fall over while running to the door. It's very clear the his body and brain are not in sync with each other. He has kind of like a "rag doll" appearance when he is moving. He's extremely limp and uncoordinated (and way more so then usual). I don't know what we are going to do. His doctors…

Emmett John I wish I knew what was troubling you. I know you wish I understood and so do I. I want to know why your so angry and frustrated. I can only assume it's because your world is confusing and overwhelming. Not being able to talk doesn't make things any easier for you does it. Mommy and I are trying everything we possibly can to get to the bottom of things. Whether you are autistic or not you need help and we will do whatever it takes to get it for you. Please hang in there and don't give up on us. We love you so much. Daddy

The more I think about what's going on with Gavin the more I am wondering if he's not just regressing again. We have experienced a few regressive phases in the past few years. In the past when they have hit they seem to effect some random part of Gavin's abilities. For example he has been brushing his own teeth for many years then all of a sudden he can't do it with out making a HUGE mess. Then he will walk out of the bathroom with toothpaste all over his face. Sometimes he will regain the ability after some time and practice. The big issue is whether or not this is really happening or is he just playing us and exercising control in the only way he knows how to.…

School was a nightmare today. Gavin had to go to the office at least twice today. He did not have a good day. We tried to talk to him about it but he "couldn't" remember. I wish I knew what the motivation for his actions were. He says he can't help it but I don't know whether I can believe him. It really looks like he's making a lot of bad choices. I know he's not being truthful when he says he can't remember if he went to the office today. Or maybe he is and we are dealing with multiples, which has been suggested in the past. Which would explain why he doesn't remember. Most likely he thinks he is going to get in trouble even though we tell…

Hey, just found this article on WEBMD and wanted to share. We may be making steps forward into finding what causes autism... Very good read..... http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100503/new-genetic-clues-autism-found

I have been thinking about this question lately. It has come up in our lives again recently so I thought I would get some opinions. I know it might sound strange but I'm serious. What is a mother? What constitutes being a mother? Is it more the just giving birth to someone? What are your thoughts? I do have my reasons for asking :)

Lizze and Emmett John took a 4 hour well deserved nap. I in turn, got to hang out with Elliott Richard. We had fun, didn't do much, but we had fun. Picked up Gavin from school he did really well today. He got frustrated and was hitting himself again but at least he wasn't hitting anyone else :) Gavin and I had to run some errands before going home and he did really well with that also. He walked into people while at the store but that's par for the course. I can live with that. Now it's getting close to dinner.