I'm not sure where this post is going to end up because I'm not in the greatest place at the moment but I need to purge. This is my disclaimer... My biggest fear for as long as I can remember has been the dentist. I mean to say that I'm terrified for the dentist. I can't even go with my kids to the dentist because I can't hide my fear. I had a tooth ripped out when I was a kid and it was re-implanted. I even had a one stick the pick thing though my cheek. The list goes on from there. This is coming from a big strong firefighter/paramedic. I went into burning house's and never thought anything of it. I have had really close calls during my…

I could live in these moments forever. Emmett John is peaceful and resting. I cherish moments like these... LT

Gavin had a good day at school. He left with 9/10 full moons (that's their behavioural measurement). His class had a pizza party today to celebrate the overall class behavior. Gavin had problems in reading again. Apparently what he does now is he asks to go to the office to do his work. It's most likely a sensory thing. The noise really bothers him. So the teachers honor his request because he then completes his work on time and returns to the class room in a good mood. After getting home he started giving Elliott Richard grief so I just told him that if he wants to be alone then he needs to be alone in his room. I explained (fruitlessly) that he can't be alone while he is with…

We have been trying to deal with quiet a bit. By far for me right now Emmett John is the toughest. I want so badly to be able to talk to him and know he understands. I want to know what he's thinking and feeling. He seems so angry and frustrated and there is very little if anything we can do to help him. To make things even worse Elliott Richard really takes the brunt of his frustrations on a daily basis. Neither one of them deserve this. There is nothing more heartbreaking then to watch your children suffer and not be able to do anything to make it better. Emmett John still doesn't talk so he really has no way to communicate with us or anyone for that matter.…

Gavin had a pretty decent morning today. We had a little trouble putting on clean clothes. He can't tell the difference between clean and dirty clothes. He wipes his nose all over his shirts. Even though it's painfully obvious to most that the shirt is dirty and should probably be burned he can't tell. Hopefully he will have an ok day today at school. The past few days have been good for him so here's to hoping. LT

This was Elliott Richard last night after I finished reading him stories. It makes me sad to know all the people that used to be in our lives will not see him grow up. The choices some people make are simply beyond me. LT

Emmett John finished his first evaluation yesterday. He completely failed the evaluation. That's not good. He is now being referred to a pediatric neurologist and from there to the autism clinic to try to pin point his location on the spectrum. The more questions we answer, the closer we get to an official diagnosis and the more painful this becomes. Now it's another tortuous waiting game. LT