There comes a time when you have to face reality.  I think this happens to everyone at some point in their life.  Tonight, we are spending New Year's Eve at my parents house.  As I was sitting down to eat dinner, something on the Christmas tree caught me eye. It was an ornament from back in 2005. What caught my soon to be, tear filled eyes, was the picture of Gavin inside the ornament. It was from when he was 5 years old and still had the light in his eyes. This is after he was diagnosed with Aspergers but well before everything else took over and the child we knew was gone. With all the talking I've done about struggling to decide what to do with Gavin, I know…

Sometimes there comes a point when you realize that you can fight no longer.  For me, that time has come.  I'm exhausted and I've spent all I had to the point of completely being depleted. I have far to many battles waging right now and I don't have enough left was wage war on multiple fronts. The time has come for me to strategically surrender. I'm in a place that I have little choice but to reprioritize.  Lizze needs to be in the Chronic Pain Rehabilitation Program.  However, this is far easier said than done. The logistics aren't damn near impossible. She will likely have to stay in Cleveland, either with a host family or in a hotel. We would bring her home on the weekends. We are looking at…

This is for all my techy friends.  I came into 2012 at an insanely slow speed (cough cough Sprint cough cough).  As I move into 2013, I'm doing so at a much faster more reliable pace...  :-)

We had our appointment with the headache doctor this morning.  Much like driving through a small town, I blinked and it was over.  Our appointment was literally only 10 minutes long and the round trip drive was at least 2.5 hours. Lizze wanted them to take over her migraine care until she could get into the Chronic Pain Rehabilitation Program. However, they said that there was literally nothing they could do.  She needs multifaceted care and that was simply not possible until she entered the Chronic Pain Rehabilitation Program. Once there, they would take everything over.  Unfortunately, we don't know when that is. The problem is that much the same as our lives in general, Lizze is way to complex to make medication changes at this point.  The doctor stressed…

I'm writing this from timeout.  That's right, timeout. At this very moment, I'm in a really bad place and so I've placed myself in timeout while Lizze sits with the boys and puts them bed. Elliott and Emmett have been fighting all evening.  To be honest with you,  I just can't take anymore right now.  There is so much screaming in this house that it's maddening.  I don't even know why they are fighting in the first place.  I'm sure it has something to do with the Gavin Effect, at least in part.  The Gavin Effect is the issues that stem from Gavin being present in the house.  The stress and tension that is produced by his behaviors, even when he's making good choices, could be cut with a knife. …

This week begins our return to the Cleveland Clinic.  Lizze has moved all her specialized care from Canton to Cleveland.  This was done because she was receiving inadequate care locally.  We will begin a sting of about half a dozen appointments in the morning with a return to the Cleveland Clinic's Headache Clinic. We are still waiting for insurance approval in order her to get into the Chronic Pain Rehabilitation Program.  Currently, she's on the waiting list and we don't expect her to gain entrance for at least another month, even if it's approved by insurance. Tomorrow's appointment will be a medication check and removal.  She needs to be off all her preventatives  because they are what is likely causing the migraine cycle.  We need to know now to safely…