Gavin is staying home today because he is really kinda struggling with the meds situation. We are going to try to get a hold of Dr. R today and figure out where we are going to go.

Lizze had her much anticipated MRI on Friday morning. This is a precautionary but necessary step because of her migraines, tremors and neuropathy. We will hopefully hear back soon because we need some peace of mind. I don't expect anything to come of this because the migraines are probably related to the firbo. She has also cat scans done and they have all been clean. Please keep her in your prayers. Rob

As the day goes by Gavin's demeanor is more and more concerning. He's actually doing pretty well, save for the occasional meltdown. The problem is he seems to be almost asleep on his feet. This is really weird because he is dropping down on some of the meds right now. He wasn't sleepy on the higher doses. He is like a walking zombie. I know I keep saying that but that's the only way I can think to describe it. Not only is he out of it but he is physically carrying himself odd. He seems more stiff or contorted then usual. He isn't always making much sense when he is talking. He is also being very dramatic about any type of physical contact. That leads me to believe he…

Why is that people find it so easy to judge. Speaking only for myself (but I know many of you have experienced this also) I have had so many people judge us without even knowing us or what we go through. We have run into this so many times where people judge us because of Gavin. It's always one of two ways. They either think we are cruel and abusive or they think we need to just discipline him more. This really used to bother me because I didn't like the idea that people thought those things about us as parents. As we face this more and more I've realized that it's simply ignorance on their parts. When you break it down to a fundamental level it's ignorance and denial.…

Gavin and Emmett John both had pretty tough days. Elliott Richard was pretty much along for the ride. Gavin ended up with oatmeal for dinner (which is actually an MST technique). The oatmeal for anyone who thinks it's cruel or mean is used as a consequence for certain behaviors that must be discouraged. Behaviors such as violence and inappropriate touching. These behaviors will get him in lots of trouble as he gets older. We love him and we don't want him to have that happen so his doctors have said it's extremely important that we deal with it now. Oatmeal is very healthy for you. He simply doesn't like it without sugar. So he gets a bowl of plain oatmeal. It's the only thing we have left to discourage these…

We noticed today that Emmett John no longer uses the same tones for things. They have changed. We are starting all over now trying to figure out what he is saying. What does this mean? I don't know what to think of this. Why does he hurt Lizze by biting and scratching her? I can't remember if Gavin did this. Why can't I remember? We have been trying to put him to bed for a bit now and he is just screaming. We have tried to feed him and gave him his sippy but nothing. We have to figure something out. He needs us to understand. LT

Gavin and puberty are not mixing well together. He has become very volatile and confused. This is probably because his meds are not working correctly any more. We are and have been maxed out for a while now but they were working. Now were are trying some different dosages of the same meds attempting to avoid the only med we have left to try, lithium. He was caught today encouraging Emmett John to climb under his shirt. We had looked away for a second (literally) and we caught Gavin with his shirt up and Emmett John up to his waist inside. We immediately removed Emmett John and pulled Gavin aside and questioned him. He denied the whole thing like we were idiots. He could not answer why he did it.…

Gavin has been acting very strange lately. We had him to Dr. R this week and we decided that he is over medicated. Well at least we think so. We are going to drop down on the zyprexa and leaving the depakote alone. This is the last ditch effort to avoid lithium. He's back to not sleeping again. Last night he was up till 1am. He walks around like he's a zombie. There's no life in him right now. He says he's fine but that cannot be true. I don't think he even knows what's going on. I'm not sure how much time we are going to give this before we pull the plug. The zyprexa made the voices go away. Now I think they may be coming back but…