Disclaimer: This is not an easy subject for me to talk about. I have daily emotional struggles with this. I hope this helps someone else. As you may know we are a blended family.  I have raised Gavin since he was 15 months. I'm the only father he has ever really known. I never really looked at Gavin any different then my own kids.  The unpleasant truth for me is that it is different. I love Gavin, I always have and I always will. However, there is something different on a very basic human level.  I was there from the beginning with Elliott Richard and Emmett John. I heard their heart beat for the first time and I cried. When I saw them for the first time during the ultrasounds…

As I have mentioned before Lizze suffers from migraines. She has migraines almost daily. Meds don't work to prevent or treat them either. She just got back from her new neurologist she has through pain management and he is categorizing her as basicly disabled. She is having an MRI in 2 weeks to rule out a tumor but her cat scans have always been clear. This may be related to the fibro. I guess when you have migraines for more then 14 days out of the month and they don't respond to meds it's considered disabling. I didn't realize that. I knew it was bad but not that bad. He has also striped her diet of anything with tyramine ( I think that's what it was) in it. My mom…

I think that there, at least in my book, are a few sacred things in life. For example, single mothers, single fathers ect.. Since entering parenthood as a father of three boys (one autistic and one being diagnosed the same) I have realized something. I think being a parent to a special needs child or children is a sacred thing. I actually realized this when I was younger. A friend of mine had a little brother with downs. It was big eye opener for me. What do I mean by sacred? I mean there are some things you just don't mess with. I will speak for myself only (but I suspect many of you feel the same). Being a parent to a special needs child (in our cause autism among…

It appears that depakote will be packing its bags and going away. It looks like it's no longer an effective bipolar treatment for Gavin. He is maxed out now and so there is no more room for increase. His doctor is thinking it's time for lithium as we have already tried everything else already. This makes us pretty nervous as that is a hardcore drug. He will be closely monitored while on it so that should minimize any potential risks. He has to be treated for the bipolar otherwise he rages uncontrollably. We are waiting for the results of his last bloodwork to know for sure what we are doing. Hopefully we will know soon so we can get him stabalized. LT

Puberty has struck our household in the form of Gavin. He has been let's say, "sexually aggressive" for the past year or so. He goes out of his way to touch, grab or grope. Male or female it doesn't seem to matter. He struggles with boundaries. He can be very driven to do or get whatever he may want. So now he has these "feelings" and apparently seeks to explore them with no regard for other people. His doctors have said we have to be very careful with him because he already has no boundaries. The latest "incident" was the other day when Lizze picked him up from school. She was talking to his teacher and Gavin went under her (Lizze's) arm and was rubbing his face all over her…

Lizze drove Gavin to school this morning and decided to take Emmett John along for the ride. Once in the car Gavin begins to yell at Lizze because we "wake him up" in the morning for school. He got pretty angry when she said that we weren't going to stop waking him up in the morning. He had himself a meltdown of sorts in the car. Mild in comparison to what he usually does but enough to make Emmett John cry. I went to pick him up from school expecting him to have had a bad day. Turns out when he verbally abuses his mother in the morning it leads to a perfect day at school. Needless to say Gavin and I had a "coming to Jesus" meeting on the…

Lizze and I have been working on a 300 question intake for the autism clinic for Emmett John. We didn't realize just how many things Emmett John wasn't doing until we started answering these question. Actually is was really depressing to realize this. I guess it's becoming more and more real as we go on. We stopped last night on question 171. We are doing to finish it tonight so we can turn it in ASAP. LT

Emmett John was up most of the night screaming again. He doesn't sound like he is in pain. He just wakes up out of a dead sleep screaming. Maybe night terrors? I don't know. I do know that it needs to stop or I will lose what little is left of my mind. My mom is supposed to take the kids for a few hours today. She called yesterday and asked if she could have them today. Looks like Lizze and I get a nap today. LT