The one milestone I had hoped to never reach
Gavin is officially maxed out on Clozapine. This is one milestone I had hoped to never reach. I'm greatly concerned about this because we have nowhere left to go, as every other antipsychotic medication has failed to work. It would have been extremely naive of me to think that this wouldn't someday come to pass. My fear is that we will not be able to manage his schizophrenia and that is not a good thing. This isn't even in the same universe as a good thing. If his hallucinations aren't managed, he's not able to tell the difference between what's real and what isn't. Historically, when he's unmedicated things get really, really bad. The things that he sees and hears become very, very dark. He becomes very violent as well.…