How I’m really doing

A lot of you have been asking how I'm personally doing with my upcoming divorce. First of all, I truly appreciate your concern. Secondly, I haven't really been talking about that part of this whole thing and instead remained focused on how the kids are doing because that's the biggest part of my life. When someone asks me how I'm doing, I don't really know how to answer that. The truth is, it's kind of a roller-coaster for me. On most days, I've accepted the necessity of this and while it hurts, I know that I have no choice. At the same time, there is a difference between accepting something on a cognitive level and accepting it emotionally. The absolute truth is that I still struggle emotionally. There are times…

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For right now, it’s one day at a time

I'm finally feeling more like myself. everyone has been sick for so long, with me being the last to succumb and the last to be better. I'm eating regularly again and even sleeping better. That's aways a positive thing. It's amazing how a decent night's sleep can impact in such a positive away. The boys and I will be attending a family function tonight. We're all pretty excited to get out of the house and hang with family and friends for the evening. The Ohio State game starts at 8PM and we'll probably watch that for a bit as well. We will also spend some time working on the house. We need to play catch-up cause I really dropped the ball when everyone was sick. Emmett is having a friend…

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An update about my upcoming podcast episode all about #vaccines

I figured I would give you guys a sneak peek at what I've been working on for Season 3 of The Autism Dad Podcast. The first episode is in the tank and pretty much ready to go. I noticed something at the last minute that I want to clean up but outside of that, it's done. I take on the topic of vaccines and while I know it's controversial and likely bring out the antivaxxer troll farm, I'm doing the right thing. I spoke with someone who is an emergency room physician, with a specialty in medical toxicology. Facts matter folks. It's 2020 and we're still debating whether or not vaccines cause Autism. It's absolutely insane that so many people are dismissing scientific and medical fact, only to put our…

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I’m so f*cking overwhelmed

I'm so fucking overwhelmed by life tonight. My kids have been at other's throats all day. They're hurt and angry and unable to cope any better with all that's shaken up their world. There isn't a goddam thing I can do to make this better for them. It's absolutely heartbreaking, frustrating and among the most helpless feelings I've ever experienced. The only thing that's going to help is time and obviously therapy. This change in our family is impacting every aspect of our lives. Sleep, school, work, and especially selfcare are among the most adversely impacted. It's an uphill battle and one that we don't seem to be winning right now. All I can do is try to keep them distracted, remind them that they're loved and make sure they…

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This could have caused a house fire and we’re very lucky it didn’t

Last night, I went downstairs to check on the boys, who were camping out in the living room. This was around 1 AM and as I came down the steps, I heard a familiar ticking sound that sent chills through my spine. It was the ignitor on our gas stove. I ran into the kitchen to find the back burner barely burning but thankfully it was. I say thankfully because if it hadn't actually ignited the gas, the whole house would have been filled and that doesn't end well. This burner had been on for hours and stone was hot, as was an empty pot, just off to the side. About 6 inches from the burner was a pair of oven mitts that while flame resistant, still managed to burn.…

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This Christmas has been very hard on my kids and me, but we’re survivors

It's been a particularly difficult Christmas this year. The kids have been having a rough time, and if I'm completely honest, I'm running low on patience. It's not their fault, and at the same time, it's not my fault I'm struggling as well. The boys are sad, angry, and have been sick for a month. It's the first Christmas since their mom left, and it's been a very emotional one. Everyone had a great time celebrating Christmas with their mom and grandparents. I'm so happy they had that. It's incredibly important to me and I'm so glad they had it. We had a good Christmas here as well, but it was very emotional, and they were very overwhelmed. I should specify that Gavin was not experiencing these problems because he's…

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I want off the ride but it just never ends

Elliott and Emmett are on the mend and doing much better. I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and spent most of the day, unable to get out of bed for very long. I think whatever this is, just hit me differently than it did the boys. Unfortunately, about 7 PM this evening, Gavin joined the ranks of the pukers. This is potentially very dangerous because of his autonomic issues. Gavin's body exists in a very delicate balance and while he's been very stable in recent years, it doesn't take much to get his system out of balance. When this happens, he can go into an autonomic crisis and require admittance to the hospital. It's actually kinda scary. The kids were supposed to be at their moms tonight…

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We are not doing well tonight

Things are not going so well in The Autism Dad household. As you know, the boys have been sick for about the last month. It began right before Thanksgiving. Elliott was sick with a upper respiratory infection that required 2 rounds of antibiotics and took over 2 weeks to recover from. Emmett started with something similar about a week or so after Elliott and is going on week 3. He still has a few days left of his antibiotics. On Wednesday, Elliott came home from a visit and spent the evening and most of the night puking. He was feeling better the next day and is back to normal today. About 6 PM this evening, Emmett started puking. He's absolutely miserable. Elliott wanted to be on the couch when he…

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