The letter I sent to my son’s teacher about him being bullied at school



In the ongoing issue of Elliott being bullied by a kid in his class, I sent the below message to his teachers after learning that these things are still happening.  

I have great respect for these teachers and I know their job is not easy. At the same time, it’s their responsibility to ensure the safety and wellbeing of those in their care. 



I’ve spoken to the school several times about this issue and it remains a problem. I wanted to make myself heard and ensure that I got my point across without losing my cool… 

I don’t understand why they have to witness something they know is happening, in order to do anything meaningful about it…. 

I’m disturbed to learn that xxxxxxx is still a problem.  Elliott says he was hit by a pencil yesterday, smacked on the back and generally made to feel uncomfortable. Today xxxxxxxx was messing with him in Martial Arts by jumping in front of him and getting in his face. 

The reoccurring theme here is that when a teacher is told, it becomes Elliott’s word against xxxxxxx’s.  Xxxxxxx insists that Elliott is lying and so nothing happens to address the problem. Removing points isn’t sufficient punishment for what stopbullying.gov defines as bullying.

[irp]

I’ve spoken with the office as well and expressed my concern.  I expect Elliott to feel safe when going to school. Elliott has a right to feel safe, as does anyone’s else xxxxxxx is targeting.  Xxxxxxx does not have the right to touch, hit, throw objects at or invade the personal space of Elliott.  I’m very quickly losing patience with this situation. 

I expect this situation to be resolved as my understanding is that the school has a zero tolerance policy for bullying.  

I understand this is a difficult situation to manage and I don’t envy your position but the reality is, there is a child in your classroom who’s making the school day difficult for mine. Elliott is being physically hit with hands and objects around the classroom. I appreciate that you may not witness these things but you know their happening.  Why does xxxxxxxx get the benefit of the doubt when he’s the one who is victimizing other students. Do bullies have rights at xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx?

Does your child have problems with bullies? How have you handled the situation? Did you feel the school was supportive or hesitant to deal with the problem?

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12 Comments on "The letter I sent to my son’s teacher about him being bullied at school"

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Sandling All Day
Guest
Oh this resonates with me SO MUCH. My special needs kiddo is scared to DEATH to go to school, so much so, that he regularly cannot. He’s down to a 1hr a day schedule and often that is too much for him. His school rotates the classes so as to get them ready for middle school, and his math teacher is SO quiet, that when xxxxxx bullies my son, openly, in class where EVERYONE hears, the teacher simply reminds him of behavior. The student goes on to BULLY THE TEACHER, basically telling him that he can do whatever he wants…… Read more »
Rob Gorski
Guest

Thank you so much. I sickened to know what your son is going through because this shouldn’t happen to anyone. I get the impression that this kid in my sons class is a handful for the teachers in general. I hope things get better for you son…. Stay strong….

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
“Xxxxxxx insists that Elliott is lying and so nothing happens to address the problem.” This is the problem right here- the other child says it’s not true. This HAS been addressed. It would have to have been in order for the teacher to know that xxx says that Elliott is lying. Now it makes even more sense that the teacher needs to see the bullying to do anything about it. The teacher can’t simply say “Oh, well Elliott says it’s happening so I will ignore xxx when he says that Elliott is lying”. That would be unfair to everyone involved.… Read more »
Rob Gorski
Guest

That said, they know it’s happening because other students are complaining as well. This kid is also a problem for the teachers as well but they say he’s very careful not to do anything in front of them..

JR
Guest
If this is the whole story, the school’s reaction makes no sense. It’s not as simple as “he said/she said” since, as you have said before, Rob, that the school has acknowledged to you at least some awareness of the problem not just with Elliott, but also with other students. Has Elliott said anything to a teacher immediately after a pencil has been thrown at him? So there’s a pencil lying on the ground, the other kid says he didn’t throw it, so that’s the end of it? One kid says another is slapping him on the back throughout the… Read more »
Rob Gorski
Guest

Very well said and the exact reason for my frustration…

Kim Gebhardt
Guest

JR said it so well that I’m going to be super lazy and just say ^^what he said.

Lynda Harlos
Guest
My son was bullied when he was younger. I do have a whole vlog on this from his point of view and what we did that will be released in the next week or two. This is a hard subject for both sides…yes I mean from both sides….keep reading. It is hard to deal with and heartbreaking. But what we did when my children were young worked at the time. Not sure it would always work, but worth at try if anyone wants to see it and try it. BUT: I am a grandmother of a grandson who IS THE… Read more »
Sarah
Guest
Tell the school that you do not want your son anywhere near this other child. All of his teachers should be notified. I have seen children moved from one teacher’s classroom to another’s because of this type of stuff. I bet this other kid is sneaky. When I was a teacher I had a student that would bully others at recess, it was a nightmare. I spent a considerate amount of time expending my energy trying to keep an eye on the bully. The teachers also need to take a 10 minute timeout during the day to have a class… Read more »
Rob Gorski
Guest

Thanks for sharing. I’m hoping to see some progress soon. It’s a tough situation, especially considering the nature of the school itself..

Braden
Guest

Has there been any response?

Rob Gorski
Guest

Not really. I received a one sentence response basically saying they would keep an eye on things. I’m not feeling super confident..

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