Depression has been a constant companion of mine since I was a teenager. I’ve spoken very openly about this war I’m waging, and I’m going to try and provide you with some further insight.
I’ve always referred to my struggles with Depression as a war because depression is a life long struggle, consisting of many battles. Some battles will be won, and others lost, just like any other war.
It’s important for me to share these battles because there’s such a lack of understanding in regards to mental illness in general but more specifically, Depression. My hope is that my story will inspire others to share theirs as well.
I’ve fought many battles against Depression over the years. There are times I feel like I’m gaining ground and others where I feel like I’m being pulled under.
Lately, I’ve been doing okay.I've always referred to my struggles with Depression as a war because depression is a life long struggle, consisting of many battles. Some battles will be won and others lost. -Rob GorskiClick To Tweet
Unfortunately, at this moment in time, I’m struggling a bit more than I normally am. I’m feeling very overwhelmed by life and all the challenges I’m facing as a husband and father.
The boys are all amazing kids, and I love them completely. My wife is my best friend and has been for 15 plus years. At the same time, everyone has demanding needs, and it’s my job to meet those needs as best I can. Don’t get me wrong; I love my family and will always do what I can for them, but it’s exhausting and overwhelming.
Right now I’m struggling with energy, motivation as well as emotional highs, and lows. Sleep deprivation isn’t helping things but there’s no fix for that right now.
If I had to describe how I was feeling in one word, desperate would be relatively close. It’s just an overwhelming feeling because there are so many things I need to do but I can’t, for a multitude of reasons. It’s a helpless feeling to have so many things in the balance and not be able to do what needs to be done.
It’s hard to be objective when you’re dealing with yourself. I do know that when these feelings creep up on me like this, it’s a safe bet that I’m getting my ass kicked by Depression.
Cognitively, I know what’s going on but that doesn’t allow me to feel any better about it.
Depression sucks and it’s not easy to talk about. Having said that, it’s important that people feel comfortable talking about it and more importantly, seeking help if they need it.