Milestones and anniversaries are things that I can sometimes get hung up on. I’ve talked about that before. I’m a bit sentimental.
I realized why I’ve been having a tough week. The reality is there’s a million reasons why I’ve been having a tough week but there was something that overshadowed everything.
I know that it’s silly but there are pivotal moments in my life that will forever hold meaning for me and this past week held one of the most important. September 3rd was my 17th wedding anniversary. Yes, I know divorce is outside of my control and has proven to ultimately be for the best, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
I was aware of the date but was so overwhelmed with everything going on that I didn’t realize how much it impacted me.
Life goes on but it’s difficult to say goodbye to something that meant so much to me. I was happy and while life wasn’t easy, it was the life we’d built. I wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world.
Most of the time I’m okay but sometimes, it all just comes pouring back into the forefront of my mind and I feel that intense heartbreak again.
Moving on isn’t easy and it’s especially difficult when I’m locked inside the house for as long as we have been. I’m not around other adults and that not really conducive for rebuilding myself or even allowing other people into my life.
Anyway, there’s no point to this post other than to provide a little more insight into my being. Like I said, most of the time, I’m okay. I feel like I’m my own person again and that feels good. Other times, I miss having my family whole.