Read more about the article I haven’t done this in forever but that needs to change
Hiking / My thoughts / Self-Care

I haven’t done this in forever but that needs to change

Yesterday I did something I haven't done in a long time. I went for a hike without my kids. I'm not sure why I don't do this more often. I do like time to myself, and I love being out in nature. Seems like I would be doing this every chance I get. Who knows. Anyway, my original plan was to take Happy to Quail Hollow but I ultimately decided that it was getting to be too late in the day and I wanted to do something a little closer. We ended up going to the Wellness Trail that the boys and I frequently visit when we don't feel like going to Cuyahoga Valley National Park. Elliott was at his girlfriends house. Emmett and Gavin were just chilling out at…

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September 11, 2022
Read more about the article We just hit a major milestone but I have mixed feelings
My thoughts

We just hit a major milestone but I have mixed feelings

I've hit a pretty major parenting milestone. Elliott and Emmett are both in high school now and I no longer have any kids in grade school. We can take this a step further and also acknowledge that not only are they both in high school, but they're both in mainstream high school. I'm so proud of them and part of me feels like I've done something right as a parent, and the other part of me knows that the credit belongs to the two of them. It's so amazing to see them doing so well and I couldn't be prouder. There were plenty of times along the way when I would have never thought this possible, or in their best interest, and yet here we are. Just the four of…

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August 20, 2022
Read more about the article He had a major meltdown this afternoon and I’m completely drained
My thoughts

He had a major meltdown this afternoon and I’m completely drained

It's been a frustrating week. I've been dealing with anxious kids, Gavin challenges, and now equipment issues with my podcast. I've been working on it today and couldn't get things working until almost midnight. Unfortunately, Friday's episode is going to be late as a result. I'm hoping to get it finished by shed up and out by end of the day Friday, or early Saturday at the latest. I want to end the week on a positive note, so I it's going to be a movie night with Gavin and Elliott. Emmett is spending the night at a friend's house. That's pretty exciting. He's stoked and I'm happy for him. The boys and I are going to watch The Man From Toronto for movie night. Gavin is actually pretty excited…

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July 28, 2022
Read more about the article #Depression can be different for everyone but this is how it impacts me
My thoughts

#Depression can be different for everyone but this is how it impacts me

I wanted to point something out about depression, at least as it applies to me. When I find myself in a darker place, I don't think I've ever had the urge to hurt myself, at least not that I can remember. When I'm struggling like I am, the struggle is not related to not wanting to live anymore. I struggle with things like getting out of bed, participating in life, focusing on the positive, getting to the gym, taking care of myself, sleeping, unhealthy eating, and a general loss of interest in many things I typically enjoy. Not everyone who's dealing with depression will struggle with suicidal thoughts. The reality is that we're all different and experience things in different ways. There are plenty of people who will struggle with…

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July 27, 2022
Read more about the article I’m so frustrated with myself
My thoughts

I’m so frustrated with myself

I'm getting ready to call it a night after a really long day. I had to get Elliott to work first thing and then begin tackling my ever growing to do list. It feels like I keep adding items and almost never end up checking them off. I pushed myself today and managed to get a few things done that should have been done a long time ago, in some cases, years ago. I'm so frustrated with myself because it absolutely should not have taken me this long. I don't know what else to say, aside from their done now. Both boys are registered for high school now and I only need to pick up Emmett's vaccine records from the doctors office, to be done with his additional paperwork. I…

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July 25, 2022
Read more about the article People don’t fake they’re depressed, they fake they’re okay and I’m pretty good at doing that
My thoughts

People don’t fake they’re depressed, they fake they’re okay and I’m pretty good at doing that

This is actually really sad but I'm in a place where I really want to celebrate every possible victory I can. It's been a long day. Emmett and I had somewhere to be in the morning. The information is currently under embargo, so I can't talk about it yet, but it was a pretty cool experience. Aside from spending time with Emmett today, my claim to fame is that I shaved for the first time in over two weeks. That's really sad but when you're struggling with depression/burnout like I am right now, every single win counts. Today took a lot out of me. I'm so exhausted and I just want to go to bed but all three of the kids are still wide awake. They're adjusting to a new…

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July 24, 2022
Read more about the article I’m trying to focus on doing better
My thoughts

I’m trying to focus on doing better

Today was pretty rough. I spent a good chunk of it sleeping. It's been body aches, headaches, nausea, cold sweats, and of course, my personal favorite, extreme exhaustion. I haven't eaten much today and I've been trying to stay hydrated as best I can. I ended up mowing the lawn this evening and I definitely regret that decision. It was so hot but the yard was only going to get longer. It's supposed to storm tonight and I wanted to try and push myself to get it done. Not one of my better decisions, if I'm being honest. Emmett and I also took the dogs around the block a couple of times before I called it quits for the day. It wasn't a super long walk but I want to…

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July 21, 2022
Read more about the article It’s not my responsibility to make sure that other people do their job
My thoughts / Navigating Divorce

It’s not my responsibility to make sure that other people do their job

I'm starting to feel kinda miserable. It's been about 14 hours since my second booster and I'm definitely feeling it. I don't mind the sore arm, and headache, but the exhaustion is the worst. I was already exhausted and now I'm even more so. I crashed for a couple hours before dinner because I just couldn't keep my eyes open. Despite how I'm feeling, I did manage to make progress in regards to Gavin's social security name change. I was able to get a certified copy of his adoption paperwork, as well as, his birth certificate. I just need to finish filling out the paperwork and then drop it off at the local social security office. They've assured me that they will take it from there. I'm going to assume…

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July 20, 2022