I’m starting to write a new chapter in the book of my life

I’ve haven’t written anything super meaningful in a long time. The truth is that a I’ve written so much over the years that I’ve sorta burned out. There’s something like 12,500 articles on this blog and I’ve written 99% of them. The rest is guest or sponsored content. I mean, gotta pay the bills right?

I’ve got so many new followers that I’ve been able to get away with not putting a great deal of new content out because people are reading the older stuff for the first time and it helps them. It’s not like there’s a shortage of things to read. It’s sorta cheating I suppose but I’ve been spread pretty thin and found writing a bit overwhelming. That’s one of the reasons I started the podcast. It was a change and it allowed to me help families, which is incredibly important to me, as well as allowing me to get my thoughts out without having to write them down. Although, the flaw in that logic is that I’m putting out full transcriptions of each episode, so I guess I’m writing anyway.

I suppose that sounds a little lame but it’s the truth.

Anyway, 2021 has brought numerous changes to my life. My divorce was finalized a month ago, work has slowly been picking back up, I have some amazing new partnership opportunities, the kids are doing much better, I’m even putting myself out there and meeting new people. I’m also putting more of a focus on selfcare. I’m a healthy 42 year old Dad but there are things I want to improve upon. I want to lose about 40 or 50 lbs and I’m well on my way. I’m working out and while it’s sort of a love/hate thing right now, I always feel good about myself afterwards. I do still find that I focus a bit too much on what I perceive are my flaws. I over think things sometimes, especially when I find myself in new situations. I’m never going to be perfect and I know that. At the same time, I want to strive to always be the best version of me possible.

I’m finally seeing a light at the end of this very dark tunnel known as COVID. Before long, I’ll be vaccinated and able to be around people again, especially fully vaccinated people. OMG, I can’t wait. There are definitely some people I’d like to be able to see in person.

This is such a lonely path to walk right now but I don’t regret walking it. We do whatever we can to protect our kids and this is what I had to do to protect Gavin. If Gavin wasn’t high risk, I would have still been very cautious but I don’t think we would have had to lock down as tightly as we did.

I feel like my future is bright and as I look forward here are some of the things I hope to see.

I need business to recover from the COVID pandemic. That’s actually really important. I was doing so well until things began locking down. It is getting better as people become more confident that we’re going to get through this nightmare and the world isn’t ending just yet.

It’s also important for the kids to get more time with their mom. I can absolutely use the break but they need to spend time with the rest of their family. That’s really important.

I know that there’s this stigma that guys don’t talk much about relationships or their feelings, but I’ve always sorta marched to the beat of a different drummer, so I’m going to talk about it. I really want to find my person. I want to remarry and I want to build a life together. I know she’s out there somewhere. I want to be loved and accepted for who I am, imperfections and all. Someone who will love and accept my kids, and even Ruby. I know that’s big ask because Ruby can be super annoying, but she’s part of the package. I mean, who doesn’t like a 5lb dog, right?

Cue the scratched record. I want to get myself and the boys out of this house. This house has been good to us and I’m grateful for that. At the same time, we’ve outgrown it. There’s way too much work that needs to be done on a house that’s over a century old. The neighborhood has definitely gone down the drain and my kids deserve a better home. This also harkens back to the whole, I need business to recover from COVID, and we slowly are moving back in the right direction. It’s just a matter of time.

I absolutely want to get some more traveling under my belt. We had the best time driving to Orlando last year and there are so many places we would like to visit. It would be amazing to be able to share that with my person as well. There are some travel opportunities that might be coming my way after we get through the pandemic and I’m super excited about that.

Also, I want to get myself back into shape. I think I mentioned that eariler but it’s important to me, so it’s worth saying again. I’m already on my way and it feels good.

Lastly, I want to get back into the habit of writing things that inspire people and provide them comfort. I also want to continue growing the podcast and expanding the range of topics I cover. I’m doing pretty well already and as of this morning, the pod has grown by 1194% since last year. I’m super proud of that but I want to continue growing.

I should also add that I would really like to find some help with managing all this stuff because I’m one person trying to do the job of an entire team. I’m actually pretty good at what I do, if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have made it this far. I’ve learned a lot but I feel like I would so much better if I could narrow my focus. I really, really need a PR person. That would make such a huge difference. I hate selling myself and I’d rather someone else do it for me.

There’s a ton more that I see as I look forward but these are the big ones.

I’m managing my depression well and for the most part, I feel good about life. I mean, my life isn’t where I want it to be just yet but I’m figuring out how to get there. The years haven’t always been kind and being on my own isn’t easy but it’s definitely not impossible. My life is totally a work in progress but I don’t see that as a bad thing. I’m so much farther ahead of where I was two years ago and I’m so proud of that. Every day brings with it a sense of unknown and while that can sometimes make me anxious, it’s only unknown because these new chapters in the book of my life haven’t been written yet. That’s actually kind of exciting and it’s hugely motivating for me as well.

I feel like I’m setting some reasonable goals for myself and I intend to keep working my ass off to realize them.

Finally, I want to thank all of you for the insane amounts of love and support you’ve given me over the years. I wouldn’t be here without you and I don’t ever forget that. Have a great night and thank you so much for being a part of this crazy journey.

Also, on a side note, I’m making more of an effort on Facebook this year. Facebook used to be the best platform for me but I gave up on it years ago. I’m giving it another go, so you might be able to find me there a bit more often. Not that anyone cares. I still prefer Twitter but I know many of you prefer Facebook. I figured I’ll meet you half way.

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