I know there are people out there who are new to this blog or maybe just getting to know me, so I thought now might be a great time to share an update that focuses on my journey. I haven’t done one of these updates in a little while, so now’s as good a time as any.
I assume that you know the basics about my life, and if you don’t, those are pretty easy to find on the homepage or throughout this entire site.
What I want to do is focus on the time since I became a single parent. A lot has changed for me since August of 2019, and I’m okay talking about it because it’s part of my journey. I feel like we’re all on a journey, and while our journeys may be different, we’re all just trying to find our way through life as best we can. I’m certainly no exception to this.
I’ve been a single parent twice during my nearly 20-year marriage. The first time was from 2014 through late 2016. The second time is what began my current journey. Both times I raised my kids alone, and it took some getting used to, but I managed.
My divorce was final in February of 2021, after a long separation. My kids live with me full-time, I have full custody, and I’m pretty much on my own. I do have a highly supportive family, and I have a good relationship with my ex-inlaws. Both are things I’m grateful for because it takes a village.
Over the last almost two years, I’ve spent a lot of time working on myself. I had to learn to let go of the things I have no control over and focus on what I did. I didn’t have any control over the end of my marriage, but I did control how I chose to handle it. I made the conscious decision to let go of anger and spend that energy on the kids.
I think it’s okay to be angry. I think it’s okay to feel whatever emotions I experience because I’m human. Emotion isn’t a weakness, and it certainly doesn’t have to control me either. A few months after my ex-wife left, I decided to choose forgiveness. I forgave her because it allowed me to move forward and let go of my anger.
It’s okay to be angry, but letting anger go unchecked is not healthy. It becomes toxic and would have destroyed me from the inside out.
I choose not to allow anger to take root in my life. I still experience anger because, again, I’m human. Rather than let it control me, I embrace it, experience it, put it down, and walk away. It’s not always easy, but it helps me to be the best version of myself possible. My kids deserve to have the best version of me, and frankly, so do I.