I hadn’t planned on doing this alone
The problem was that I hadn't planned on doing this alone and I realized in those moments that alone is exactly how I'm having to do it now.
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August 22, 2019
We had to adapt today for a number of reasons
As with any family, we have to learn to adapt. Today is no exception. In fact, today is proof of that. The boys are on edge for a number of reasons, one of which is that school starts in the morning. They're excited but also nervous. Poor Emmett is afraid that he's going to have to tell his class that he's from a broken home. His words, not mine. I've assured him that's not the case. He's doesn't have to tell anyone about anything. One of the reasons we prioritized the trip to Cook Forest was because we wanted them to have a major event that was positive and could be something they could talk about if they wanted to.. I've already talked to the school about everything and they…
August 21, 2019
I can’t change what happened but I can adapt and overcome
Divorce is never easy and there are always unforeseen consequences. The goal is to limit those consequences, and shield the kids from as many grownup issues as humanly possible. It's only been a week since my wife left and I'm already facing challenges that are very limiting by nature. One of the biggest things that have come up that impacts me directly is that I can never go anywhere alone. Until about two weeks ago, I was walking every single day. I was able to sneak away for an hour and exercise, because the kids were at home with their Mom. I never was gone for extended periods of time because that can be very challenging for anyone to deal with, especially someone with all the health issues she is…
August 21, 2019
Why I’m seeking help from a therapist
Today at 1pm I will be starting my second therapy session with my new therapist. The first session was literally the morning after my wife left and not much was accomplished aside from me unloading everything that I was feeling. I think I caught my counselor off guard. I feel like this therapist might be a good fit for me personally and that's important. I was such a hot mess last week that I didn't even get the paperwork filled out. She asked why I was there and the floodgates opened and she went with it. I really appreciated that. She suggested that we finish the paperwork next time. I feel like I'm in a better place today because I've had a week to begin wrapping my brain around all…
August 20, 2019
It’s been 1 week since my marriage ended and here’s how we’re doing
Today marks one week since our lives changed forever and things haven't been easy for us. When something as impactful as a parent moving out happens, there's a ripple effect. I think considering everything that's going on, the kids are doing okay. They're each dealing in their own way and the only one who's not phased either way is Gavin. Emmett is struggling, as is Elliott. They do so in different ways. Emmett won't sleep in his bed right now and glues himself to me at night. I've told him that we need to work on getting him back in his own bed but if for right now he needs this, it's absolutely okay. Elliott just kinda shuts down and pretends like everything is okay. It's pretty obvious that he's…
August 20, 2019
Trying desperately to not let their summer be defined by the collapse of my marriage
As the summer winds to a close, it was very important to me that the last major experience the kids had before school starting, wasn't their lives being turned upside down when their Mom left. Emmett has been really stressed out in particular because he's convinced that he will have to write twelve sentences about his summer and he didn't want to have to talk about what happened. While I seriously doubt anyone would make him talk about what happened in front of his class, I understood where he was coming from and so did my parents. Lizze and I had been planning to take them to the Great Lakes Science Center before school started and that was still the plan, only less one person. My Mom and Dad decided…
August 18, 2019
I’m hoping this short trip helps us get our footing
We're on our way to Cook Forest State Park. We'll probably arrive around 11 AM and the boys are really excited. I'm not feeling so well this morning. It's not that I'm sick, I'm just heartbroken. The truth at its most fundamental level is that I miss my wife. This is really hard for me because I have to be strong for the kids but at the same time, I've also lost my best friend. I don't really know what to do anymore. Every part of me is grieving and it's sometime hard to hold it together. In a way, I feel like it's good for the kids to see me grieving at times because it's a reminder that they aren't alone. This is devastating for all four of us.…
August 17, 2019
The boys first official visit went well and we have big plans for tomorrow
The boys had their first official visit since the split and I think it went really well, at least it sounds like it did. That's fantastic as far as I'm concerned because I want as little to change for them as possible. I was a bit nervous because it's a big change for them but it sounds like they did great. 😊❤️ They got home around 2:30 PM and we had a pretty quiet afternoon. My sister had invited us over for dinner but I didn't want to overwhelm the kids. They had just arrived home and I thought it best to play things low-key. In the morning, my Dad and I are taking the kids to visit Cook Forest State Park in Clarion Pennsylvania for the day. It's about…
August 16, 2019