Divorce is never easy and there are always unforeseen consequences. The goal is to limit those consequences, and shield the kids from as many grownup issues as humanly possible. It’s only been a week since my wife left and I’m already facing challenges that are very limiting by nature.
One of the biggest things that have come up that impacts me directly is that I can never go anywhere alone. Until about two weeks ago, I was walking every single day. I was able to sneak away for an hour and exercise, because the kids were at home with their Mom. I never was gone for extended periods of time because that can be very challenging for anyone to deal with, especially someone with all the health issues she is dealing with. It worked though and I was able to walk every day. I’m missing that right now.
I haven’t been able to go walking. Even when the kids go back to school, I’ll still have Gavin. He’s always willing to go with me but it’s physically too much for him and honestly, he slows me down. I would get steps in but not the intensity that I need. It’s very frustrating, but I’m grateful that Gavin is willing to go. That says a lot for him.
That brings up another challenge. Gavin will have to be up and moving super early every day now. He will have to come with me to take the boys to school and pick them up. It’s going to throw him off. He’s got a very ridged schedule that he likes to keep and he will have to deviate from it, especially, if I take him walking. He will be happy to go along but it’s just one more thing that’s impacted.
If I need to run to Walgreens for toilet paper, or the grocery store for a few items, I have to pack all three of them into the car and go. They all have to come in with me and that doesn’t always go well. There’s no choice here. We’ve never been comfortable leaving the kids home alone because of all the crazy shit that happens in our neighborhood.
The list goes on and on. Each day I’m finding new challenges that I have to now overcome on my own.
I’m frustrated because walking is so important to me and my health, and that’s vital for the kids. My stress level is through the roof and while I’m in therapy, walking was a huge part of what kept me sane.
I will need to find new paths through these challenges and find ways of making everything work.
The obvious solution for the walking is getting a treadmill. Not sure how I’ll pull that off but that would be hugely positive. It’s definitely a possibility. As far as having to drag the kids along with me, everywhere I go, that’s just the way it is. I love my kids and I’m grateful for every moment I have with them. Having to haul them around all the time, is much harder on them than it is on me. I hate having to put them through that.
Anyway, these are just a few of the things I’m trying to figure out right now. I thought I would share a bit about the immediate challenges that are presenting themselves in the aftermath of the spilt.
It is what it is and while I can’t change anything, I can do my best to adapt and overcome.