12 things this #Autism Parent will no longer apologize or feel guilty for

As an Autism Parent for over a decade, I’ve experienced all kinds of judgement and ridicule. The world can be a very unforgiving place for parents like me.  We do things that people don’t understand or frankly, misunderstand because it’s what we have to do in order to survive.

I’ve made a decision today and I’m encouraging all my Autism famiiles to do the same thing.

From this day forward, I will no longer apologize or feel guilty for doing what I have to do in order to survive an impossibly difficult and often solutionless situation.

I will no longer apologize or feel guilty for:

– being tired all the time and taking any form of sleep I can get, when I can get it

Read This  I hope your morning is going better than mine

– putting my kids before things like housework

– allocating my limited resources where they’re needed most, even at the expense of bills

– not being able to attend your function because I can’t find a sitter and my kids won’t handle the stimulation well

– taking my kids out in public, knowing that they could disturb someone with a meltdown

– having a utility service shut off because the money for that bill went to pay for therapy that insurance wouldn’t cover

– putting my kids on medication that I feel is in their best interest

Read This  I'm really stressed out about today

– going to an IEP meeting armed to the teeth with adrenaline, fierce determination, witty one liners and if necessary the aggression of a grizzly bear

– my kids with Autism not completing their homework on time or at all because homework for some kids with Autism is ridiculous

– bringing a list of my worries and concerns to an appointment and not leaving until we’ve discussed them

– not having the patience for unsolicited, ignorant parenting advice and the people that force it upon me

– sometimes putting myself first because if I’m don’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of my kids



  1. Jimmy Rock

    I’m sure you realize that with respect to a number of things on your list, any guilt or need to apologize you’ve felt is irrational, but that’s how these things go sometimes. You can’t control those feelings sometimes even when you know better…

    And as for some unsolicited and (hopefully) non-ignorant advice — you talk all the time about your lack of sleep. That’s got to be one of your biggest challenges. I think if there was a way to mitigate the sleep issues at least a little bit, you could be better equipped, mentally and physically, to deal with your daily challenges. That could lead you to be more productive, and maybe not feeling like everything is so overwhelming. I’m by no means minimizing everything you have going on, but I think a concentrated effort to work on the sleep issues might pay off invaluably.

    The thing with getting kids’ sleep issues under control is that it takes a lot of effort, discipline and consistency. Hard to do but you’re not sleeping anyway so it may be worth a go.

    Sometimes I make suggestions reluctantly because I realize you have so much going on and in an ideal world you’d tackle so much more but you’re doing what you can to get by. I get that. But the sleep thing just affects basically everything else you have going on.

    Seems like this has been a particularly rough patch for you…hang in there…

    1. Jimmy… Once again your way with words is amazing. You’re right on the money. Truthfully, I don’t care what anyone says, as long as it’s done tactfully and with a tiny bit of respect. For me, it’s never really been about what someone said but rather how they said it. ☺

      Sleep is vital for every aspect of one’s life and without it, everything takes a hit.

      As for the rough patch….. Yes and no… I’ve been holding back on many things because I was trying to differentiate The Autism Dad from Lost and Tired but in doing so, I’ve gotten away from my mission. It’s not so much that it’s been more difficult lately, it’s just that I’m opening up like I did with Lost and Tired.

      Some people will read post and see me just being negative. The truth is that I’m being honest and that post just wasn’t written for them. Other people will read the same exact thing and will find comfort because they are reminded that they’re not alone. They see that I’m struggling too and it’s not just them.

      I think it’s really important to be positive but not at the expense of being truthful and realistic..

      I’m trying to find a better balance…. ☺

Please Share Your Thoughts