Five weeks after putting our marriage back together

I thought I would update you as to how Lizze, myself and the boys are doing since we’ve put our family back together, after upwards of almost 2 years.  Talking about this as honestly as possible is important because this happens to people/families all the time and I want to help provide hope that sometimes things can get better. 

My wife and I began putting our family back together about 5 weeks ago.  The time we spent apart was difficult for many reasons but oddly enough, putting things back together has been much easier. 

That’s not to say that it’s without its challenges because it certainly can be challenging.

As far as the boys and I are concerned, things couldn’t be better in regards to Lizze moving back home.  Lizze is very happy to be home as well and everyone is getting along as though nothing ever happened.  With one exception….

Lizze and Gavin have always had a challenging relationship, for a number of reasons. 

That being said, the time apart has seen major growth in both of them and they can now coexist without any problems.  They actually have a healthy relationship now and that’s a positive thing for all of us.  ☺️

Lizze and I haven’t ever really had any issues between us and the separation had nothing to do with our relationship but rather the impact that chronic, long term stress has on our lives. One of the challenges we face is making sure that we take care of ourselves and each other. 

We are making time to just be together and making the time to take care of ourselves.  It’s a work in progress but we are moving forward and learning from past mistakes. 

Another of the challenges that we are facing has less to do with our nuclear family and more to do with some people around us having a misguided approach to this whole thing. It creates stress and anxiety, where there doesn’t need to be any. It’s frustrating and to some degree, understandable. More than anything, it makes things awkward and uncomfortable.

That said, we have the unconditional love and support of our parents on both sides and that makes such a huge difference for us.  ☺️

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Then of course, there’s also things like merging routines, schedules and adapting the way we do things, in order to accommodate another person and her needs.  That’s par for the course for this kinda thing though..

I’ve learned that we are more adaptable than I realized and so these changes have been pretty easy to take on. 

While Lizze is stronger/healthier, both physically and emotionally than she’s been in a really, really long time, she still has health issues that impact her on a daily basis.  She has some very real limitations and those things can prove to be complicating at times but who among us is perfect?  Certainly not me!  Regardless, we find ways to work through these things together.

We’re family and we’ve been through a significant trial.  We didn’t let it defeat us and we’ve come back together. Enough positive things can’t be said about that.

It’s weird how it feels like no time has gone by, when in fact, quite a bit has.  I feel really good about everything. The things that are still a challenge will work themselves out, one way or another and I’m not going sweat those things.

Life still has enormous challenges for us, that are unrelated to all of this. 

Things like bills, grocery budgets, surviving our neighborhood and all the things that go into special needs parenting, will still be as challenging as ever. Rather than face these things alone, we’re doing it as a team and that is enormously positive.  ☺

Thank you all for love and support you’ve shown us..  It’s truly appreciated… ☺

In review, five weeks into our family becoming whole once again, things are going well.  We face challenges with some people in our lives, who are misguided but mean well and just the logistics of merging us all back together.  These things will resolve with time and if they don’t, it’s just something we’ll learn to live with.

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3 Comments on "Five weeks after putting our marriage back together"

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BJW
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Well! I miss reading your blog for a couple months and find out this happy news, that you all are back together. Our families aren’t the same but we are facing some similar challenges. I have fibro and our 2 adult sons are disabled. Henry has fibro and Jacob has HFA. So anyway, I get that stress is key. We are fortunate that Bob is able to work a full time job which pays the bills. However, he’s 67 so the poor guy really needs to retire soon. I think with all you’ve been through you both now know that… Read more »
Rob Gorski
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Becky,

How the hell are you? It’s been awhile.. :-)Thanks so much..

BJW
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We just go along you know. I don’t have a job and if I don’t get one, oh well. (I may end up applying for disability.) Jacob who is HFA, seems to be working out well at Marco’s Pizza. Henry is still pretty sick with fibromyalgia but I have taken him driving. We have an industrial park behind our home so at night and on weekends, the roads are clear. Glad Lizze was able to figure out being with you was better! You all may find your marriage is stronger. And now the boys can see her. And Gavin is… Read more »
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