You’re not as bad a parent as you may think

One of the things that I can personally struggle with in regards to and in general for that matter, is self-doubt. If there is ever going to be anything that makes an adult question themselves, it’s parenting.

When it comes to parenting, that sense of self-doubt significantly increases and for good reason.

Autism Parenting is tough and there’s no two ways about it.

Speaking for myself but hoping you can relate. I’m harder on myself than anyone else in the world ever could be.

It’s so easy to tear myself down over what I feel are weaknesses or inadequacies on my part. I find that more often than not, I catch myself comparing my parenting abilities to that of the typical parents I’m surrounded by all the time.
They seem to have it all together and often times don’t struggle in the more extreme ways that I do.

This can be quite demoralizing because I look at how poorly I’m providing for my (in anyway) or that my kids can’t play outside because of how bad of a neighborhood we live in.

I know how tough it is to keep groceries in our house or how overwhelming it is to keep said house reasonably maintained. I know how guilty I can feel when my kids are driving me crazy because I should have more patience with them.

Worst of all, I have to watch my kids struggle in ways that I can’t always have an impact on, especially when it comes to . This poor kid has already lived through more than most people will during the course of their entire lives. It’s not fair and I can’t do a goddamn thing about it.

I could go on but I think you get the point.

When I see, feel or experience any of these things, I feel like a failure. I feel like I’ve failed and I’m continuing to fail my family. It certainly doesn’t help when people make judgmental comments without first walking in my shoes.

Here’s the thing and this is what I’m hoping you take away from this.

Whenever I compare my situation to someone else’s, I’m always going to lose. As human beings, we tend to compare our weaknesses to everyone else’s strengths and that just never works.

It’s not easy to see this and I constantly have to remind myself that I’m doing the best I can in what is truthfully,  a very, very difficult situation.

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  • I was talking to someone the other day about how many times we feel like ‘bad parents’ because our houses are messy, we weren’t as patient with our kids as we ‘should’ have been, we didn’t cook them a nutritious meal – and the list goes on. But there is one thing I’ve learnt in my own journey as both a parent with a child with Aspergers/ADHD/Anxiety Disorder AND a foster parent (currently have 2 long term girls), is that ‘bad parents’ are not sitting around lamenting on how bad they are doing!! Bad parents would see none of this as a problem, in fact it would not concern them nor would they see it as a problem. Bad parents are caught up in themselves and their own needs and although it’s absolutely something that we need to be doing to be ‘good parents’ (taking good care of ourselves) – they certainly aren’t sweating the stuff that we do. So by this very definition Rob, the fact that you constantly worry, doubt your own ability and care about all of these things, makes you the best parent you can be.

  • I personally think ure doing great!!��