#Autism Parenting: The Transition to Adulthood has Begun

It’s going to be a slightly stressful day today because I have to meet with social security in regards to Gavin. Part of this is merely a routine review, but the other part of it is going to be dealing with Gavin turning 18 and me retaining my payee status over his account.

I’m not worried about Gavin qualifying because he qualifies. I’ve just never had to do this before. It’s the first time we’ve had to have one of these meetings as they only happen every so many years.

Hopefully, this will be done in under two hours because otherwise, I’ll be late getting the kids from school.

Meeting with social security is the first of many steps we will have to take because Gavin has turned 18. The transition to adulthood has begun.

Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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It’s entirely possible that I’m wrong but I think you are going to have to be named guardian over Gavin before anything else can happen with his money. If it’s anything like any other form of guardianship, the funds will have to go into an account specifically for him and then the trustee (whether it be you or some other person appointed by the court) will have to account for all the money spent. There is usually an accounting that will need to be filed every year or two to make sure that the trustee is using the funds in the ward’s best interest. Unless things have changed dramatically, the funds won’t just be deposited into your account like they always have been. I thought the guardianship process would have been started months ago so that things would be up and running with no delay on Gavin’s 18th birthday.

Rob Gorski

I think there’s some overlap time. The SSI will remain the same.I will need to get the paperwork and we meet with his doctors in a week or two for that purpose.

Rob Gorski

In Gavin’s case, guardianship is a technicality. Everything is documented, and we just need to file the paperwork. We don’t have to fight or prove anything. You’re right they will need the paperwork …


I understand that it’s a technicality and that it’s a given that Gavin can’t be in charge of his own affairs, but this is no different than if an older person developed dementia and needed someone to handle their money. The court will appoint someone to do that to make sure it’s being spent properly and not mishandled or being stolen. It doesn’t matter that you are his father, he is an adult and now it is the court’s job to make sure that he and his funds are not taken advantage of. It is one of those things that most people don’t realize is a court issue because it seems logical that of course his parents would take care of him, but as he is not an adult, the court will take an interest to make sure his needs are being met.


“but as he is not an adult, the court will take an interest to make sure his needs are being met.”

I meant to say *now* an adult, not *not* an adult.

Rob Gorski


Once I have permanent guardianship, there is an annual review. That’s it. I already know what I have to do and his doctors have done this a million times.

This maybe different where you’re at but here, this is pretty straight forward. ☺


Yes, the review is the accounting that I mentioned. When I say that the court will appoint someone, I mean you or Lizze (or someone else if you were unwilling or unable). As of right now, his doctors cannot legally discuss his care with you, same for the social security office. I will put it this way- if your mother were to call your doctor, they would not be able to release information to her. It doesn’t matter that she is your mother, it matters that you are an adult. The same thing applies to Gavin. He is an adult. He can sign contracts and go to war and go rent an apartment if he wants to. Granted, none of it would stick because of his mental capacity, but at this moment he is on his own.

As for the accounting, the court will generally want to see where the money is going and need a breakdown. It is a very straight forward process but you should at the very least be prepared to keep records of his money for next year’s review. If you do it and they don’t want it, no real harm; but if you don’t do it and they require it you will have the nightmare of figuring out where Gavin’s money was spent. Again, the difference is that this is now Gavin’s money. It used to come to you because you are his parent and he was underage and you were footing all the bills, now it is Gavin’s to spend on what he needs/wants.

Rob Gorski

Thanks Kim