A long overdue, deeply personal update



While work is difficult to get done, it’s picking back up a little and that’s good especially if I can get to it but I digress.

This is what happens when I try to open up right now, I veer off topic and redirect without even realizing I’m doing it. Goddammit that’s frustrating.

Look, I’m just going to bottomline it for you. Things are tough and I’m overwhemled. Yes, I have kids with me constantly, and while that’s a blessing for sure, I’m still incredibly lonely. I’ve been connecting with parents offline a bit more lately and I’m meeting some really interesting people. As much I enjoy the phone conversations or Zoom meet ups, I would much prefer talking in person. I almost forget what it’s like to be in the same room with another adult, simply enjoying good conversation and company.

There are some truly awesome people out there and I’m glad to connect.

Anyway, there are things I definitely need to work on. Working out is one of them. I started and then stopped and then started and stopped and sorta started again. Depression plays a roll but I need to do better. Selfcare has taken a hit but I’m not giving up. I know that I’m worth the effort and I also know my kids need me, so selfcare needs to be a priority.

Therapy is going pretty well. I’ve been seeing my current therapist for over a year and I really like her. She’s helped me a great deal with my upcoming divorce and the journey of putting myself back together after such a life altering change.

As far as that part of my life is concerned, I’m in a good place. I’ve bounced back and I’m moving forward. It’s not perfect and occasionally messy but every single step forward is one step closer to wherever the hell I’m meant to be. The loneliness is rough though but it’s also helping me get to know myself as an individual again. I think that’s important after a longterm marriage suddenly ends.

Depression is challenging as always but I give as good as I get. I seem to be doing okay in that department, overall. The more I workout the better I feel. Exercise hugely beneficial in managing depression, which is another argument for the importance of selfcare.

I will add that I’m being kinder to myself. That may sound weird but I’m really hard on myself and I’m working on being more forgiving of my very human limitations. It’s important to be kind to ourselves. It goes back to the selfcare/self-love thing.

There are some things that I’m really excited about but I’ll talk about that shiznit in another post. Trying to keep my thoughts separated..

Before I go, I just wanted to say that I’m so grateful for all the love and support I get from my amazing online family. I truly appreciate it and I try every single day to be worthy of it.

Stay safe everyone..

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Tina

i’m so sick of the home schooling on wednesdays i bought a printer to print things out.plus the boys fighting all the time is getting on my nerves.how do u get the boys to clean up after themselves and do chore

Pinki

Prayers that things get less hectic for you and your boys. And I hope you get well-deserved time for yourself. Remember, you are doing a great job!!

Curtis G.

Stay well Rob. As a parent of a 36 years old autistic young man of, I still go through the many feelings you are going through.

Becky Wiren

You also stay safe. I’m hoping we’ll come out the other side of this with better governing and help. Too bad it didn’t happen earlier.

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