It’s been a little while since I’ve really talked about how I’m doing on a personal level. There’s not really a reason for that I’m just a bit overwhelmed and when this happens, it’s not as easy for me to write. That said, it’s important that I do anyway because it’s incredibly therapeutic for me to do so.
For the most part, I think I’m doing pretty well. Could I be doing better? Of course I could. Could I be doing worse? You betcha..
I’m trying to manage a lot right now and it’s not easy. The balance between work and family is quite challenging, especially when the kids are learning from home. I need to be working but they need guidance and support because remote learning is a very different animal than we’re used to.
It used to be that I would get all my work done while the kids were at school and then focus on them when they got home. Now everything is all fucked up, inside out and backwards. I keep bouncing from one thing to another and back again, never able to focus on any one thing for long enough to make progress.
I haven’t scheduled a recording in over a month and I typically do at least two a week. There’s been too much distraction and frankly, I’m exhausted.
The kids are doing pretty good, all things considered but they’re definitely not getting enough from me and that fact doesn’t escape me.
I know at least some of you will understand what I mean when I say it absolutely sucks knowing that I’m dropping the ball in so many areas. On my best day, I’m not enough to meet everyone’s needs, including my own and that can sometimes be a bitter pill to swallow.
Keeping myself living in the moment is challenging at times but it’s really important. If I focus on the now than I’m worried less about the past or the future, both of which I have little, if any, control over.