I’m totally struggling today. My head has been pounding all day and I’m sporting a relatively short fuse. I was hoping today would be a better day for me but it hasn’t.
I wish I could put my finger on what was causing me so much distress but I can’t.
The reality is that I’m overwhelmed and by overwhelmed I mean it feels like life is crushing me to the point I can’t breathe. I know many of you out there reading this can relate.
It would be awesome if I could say, oh this is what’s stressing me out and then do something about it. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s any one thing. I think it’s a number of things and my resources are depleted to such an extent that it’s more difficult for me to cope.
That being said, I take great pleasure in the fact that the boys had a really good day at school. They were both dealing with a bit of makeup work from when they switched schools. Both of them have been overwhemled by the makeup work and technical glitches.
As of today, they’re almost caught up and while it wasn’t easy, they’re kicking ass right now in the makeup work department and I’m so proud of them. It’s a highlight of my day kinda thing. ☺
I’m exhausted, stressed out and completely overwhelmed but I’m trying to maintain a positive outlook and not lose sight of the glimmers that occur each day. Sometimes they get lost in the chaos but I’m managing to keep my eye on the ball, so to speak.
A good night’s sleep and I’m hoping for a better day.
I’ve gone through the same thing more times than I can remember in the past 30+ years. I believe the times that I became so overwhelmed with our situation with our son that my mind became flooded with so many doubts, fears, frustrations, every day problems, financial problems, job problems, etc. that collected inside my mind that I could no longer point a finger at which one thing caused me all this distress at that moment. It was just a culmination of just far too many things hitting me at once. And like you and other parents and caretakers in the same situation, somehow I always managed to pull myself above this sea of troubles to continue on and do what I had to do to care for our autistic son and also care for our youngest son. Even now regarding our autistic son, I still go through this continuing process. And as always Rob, no matter how many times it does knock you down, you’ll always manage to get back on your feet because your three sons need and depend on you. And that’s what will always keep you going and going.
I had a hard day too. I’m a single mom to a 4 yo NT and a 6 yo with autism, work full time, kick ass, etc, and tonight was meltdown night. They are actually fairly rare since he started ABA in Jan, but he went all-out, even had to do a bit of carpet cleaning. Most days I can keep my head above water and stay calm, collected, and positive, but there is just so much going on this week on top of the usual chaos….I am stressed and I didn’t handle it well at all. Tonight I feel so tired and sad and very frustrated, and then….here it comes, the ugly cry. Thanks for reminding me that it’s okay to have hard days. Just gonna start over tomorrow and do better.
100% agree with the difficultly in not being able to pin point the distress to do something about it…
Side note: I think it’s great that you pulled something positive out of the day. That’s all we can do.