The Truth is I’m Not Okay

I swear to God it feels like I’m always apologizing for not writing enough. I don’t know why I feel the need to do that but clearly I do. I guess that I feel as though I’m letting people down when I don’t write or share. That’s just a weird thing I put on myself though. If I don’t write for a period of time, I start getting messages from people checking up on me. Sometimes that’s how I end up realizing that it’s been awhile.

Anyway, because I’m me and feel the need. I’m sorry it’s been so long since we’ve talked. I’m just going to run with this but truthfully, my heads a mess and I’m not sure what direction this is going to take.

Usually there’s a reason or reasons for my lack of writing. Sometimes I’m just feeling spent and need a break. Other times it might be that I’m going through a difficult time and writing is simply too overwhelming. As we all know, writing is how I cope with life and not writing for a little while is usually a good sign that said life has become a bit more challenging.

I could lie and say that everything is okay but that’s not the truth. One of the things that I’ve focused on from the accidental conception of this blog was honesty. I don’t hide from the truth or my mistakes because how does that help anyone. It certainly doesn’t help me and it probably isn’t helpful to the many who come here looking to learn something from my experiences. I try very hard to always be a positive example, especially to other Dads.

I have no problem admitting my mistakes and talking about them because maybe someone can learn from them. As yo may have figured out by now, I’m a big fan of teaching moments. Shit happens in life and it sucks but what can be learned from the experience? That’s sorta my mantra.

Emotions are a tricky thing and I tend to be a very emotional person. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but it can make life more complicated and messy. Emotions can sometimes be a driving force and influence my actions. Again, not necessarily a bad thing but it can be problematic at times. It’s just part of who I am and something I’m working on gaing a better understanding of, and control over. It’s actually one of my personal growth goals and I feel as though I’ve come a long way. Far from perfect, and yes, there’s room for growth, but that’s okay. Just imagine if there was no room for personal growth, that would be a bad thing. It would mean that change or improvement would be more difficult, if not impossible.

The truth is, I’m struggling a bit emotionally and feeling kinda lost right now. I feel like I’m adrift at sea and can’t find my way back to shore. It’s not a good feeling and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

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Salamawit Berhane

I am sorry you haven’t been feeling well. We all go through those rough patches sometimes it feel like eternity. This too shall pass. Y

Becky Wiren

I was feeling concerned, because you seemed to be ignoring the struggle of the past year or so. I actually feel reassured that you are on the right track, even if it means saying you’re struggling. I don’t know if that makes sense. I know on the best days I like to think I’ve conquered my problems but then I also get snapped back to reality. Anyway, hope you feel better. All you can do is what you’re doing.

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