I have to admit that I’m so stressed out that my chest hurts when I breath. It’s all anxiety but it still makes it harder to present to Gavin as though everything is okay and I’m not worried.

I’ll be honest, I’m really freaked out. Gavin is scaring me to the point I feel sick to my stomach. He’s lost 25+ lbs since June and his diet hasn’t been reduced. In fact, it’s been increased and he’s still losing weight. He weights 110 lbs now and that really scares me.

Depression causes me to become more easily overwhelmed and can sorta cloud my thoughts. Writing becomes particularly difficult because those clouds make not more difficult for me to find the right words to accurately articulate what I’m feeling.

We’ve been having tons of issues with Gavin and school. Things have been getting worse lately and Lizze and I are completely overwhelmed. However, today we have some good news and I wanted to share.

While Emmett wasn’t at school today, Elliott and Gavin were. After school, they had tutoring again. This is something the school started and it’s essentially an extended school day.

I feel very strongly that Autism does not equal a free pass for my kids. When my kids do something wrong, it’s my belief that they should be held accountable for actions. 

That being said, this does give me hope that maybe Gavin’s future is a little brighter than I sometimes think. As a father, it’s so nice to see my kids helping each other. It really was an amazing thing to witness. 🙂

I give my family, absolutely everything I have but I know that they need so much more than I’m currently capable of. I feel like if I was a stronger person, maybe I could give them a little more.