The Journey to Independence: Progress does not require perfection

If you’ve been following our journey, you know that Gavin has come such a long way. He’s doing so well compared to where he was. However, I think it’s important also to state that improvement doesn’t mean perfection. There are still struggles, and they can be challenging to manage. Today was one of those days where I’m reminded of this. Gavin told me he was going to shave this afternoon. It’s hugely positive that he sometimes recognizes and prompts himself to do this without reminders. I’m proud of this little victory, and I told him that. He ate lunch and then went to the bathroom to shave. Gavin shaves with an electric/rechargeable razor. He gets about 80% of the job done independently but still needs help to get what he…

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Helping My Kids Transition to Adulthood is Challenging

Making the switch from parenting young kids with autism to teens and adults can be challenging. Kids grow up so fast, and their needs change as they get older. The teen and young adult years are particularly tough because the push toward independence kicks into high gear. There are so many overlapping behaviors, and I'm learning that some teen stuff is normal. Autism and ADHD will always play a role, but at the end of the day, they're still teenage boys, and they're going to be going through adolescent boy stuff. My current focus is on helping Gavin to move out of the house and move on with his life. We (my incredibly supportive gf and I) have had several meetings with the Department of DD already, and Gavin has…

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Finding Myself Again

I’ve been struggling to find myself. There have been so many changes in my life over the last few years and some of them significant. Some of these changes left me feeling lost and broken. I needed to rediscover who I am, and I’ve been on this journey trying too figure it all out. Our identities can become wrapped up in the people and things we hold most dear. For me, I was a son, a fire fighter/paramedic, a husband, a special needs dad, a caregiver, a writer, amongst other things. Sometimes life throws us curveballs and can result in major life altering changes taking place. It doesn’t matter if we welcomed those change or if they were thrust upon us. When we experience loss, significant change, or get too…

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My Autistic Son Voted for the First Time: Here’s My Takeaway

Last week, my 22-year-old autistic son voted for the very first time. It was a momentous occasion for him. Seeing him exercise his right to vote was an emotional experience, and it got me thinking about what we can learn from his voting journey. Here are a few takeaways that I wanted to share. I also sat down with Gavin, and we talked about his experience on a recent podcast episode. You can also read my previous post about tips to help our kids vote by clicking here. The Importance of Accessibility One of the biggest barriers to voting for people with disabilities is accessibility. What many of us fail to realize is that accessibility to voting starts at home. It's so important that we, as parents, talk to our…

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4 Tips To Help Your Autistic Child Vote

I've recently helped my adult autistic son exercise his right to vote. I recorded a short podcast episode about this journey, and it's embedded below. I wanted to follow up with some practical tips that helped me to ensure my son was able to vote in this election cycle. Everyone's situation is different, but if your son or daughter is of age and they wish to partake in democracy, this might be helpful. It's important to remember that people with disabilities, including autism, have the right to vote. However, voting can be a complicated process, and some people with autism may need assistance to exercise their right to vote. Register to Vote The first step in the voting process is registering to vote. In most states, this can be done…

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The Power of Hindsight

We've all been there. We look back on a situation, and we think to ourselves, "If only I had known then what I know now." It's called the power of hindsight, and it's a very real phenomenon. Sometimes we make decisions based on the information we have at the time, and later we realize that we could have made a better decision if we had known more. This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately in relation to my kids. When they were younger, I made many decisions based on their autism/ADHD diagnosis. There was a great deal of trying to figure out how to hold my kids accountable. It's a difficult thing to navigate because I wasn't always sure what was within their control and what was…

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