Elliott and Emmett are each going through some things that Autism and anxiety make infinitely more difficult for both them and us to deal with.
There hasn’t been a change in the boys behavior for the better or worse since our family has come back together. It’s pretty much status quo.
We’re trying to put our family back together and while that’s an overwhelmingly positive thing, it’s not without its challenges.
Those challenges come from places that they shouldn’t and serve toto only make things more difficult.
Sometimes I just feel like I’m setup to fail because no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get ahead or make everyone happy. I know of that sounds like a really negative attitude and maybe it is but this shit is tough.
There’s always more to do than people to do it and life has a way of always throwing me a curve ball when I’m not expecting it.
Trying to maintain a positive attitude about everything isn’t always easy. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed and frustrated but I’m not a quiter.
One of my favorite quotes says that success is simply getting back up one more time than you fall. That was on a poster on the wall in my high-school math class but it’s always struck me as very profound.
That’s why it’s so important that I never give up. Maybe I have to try at something a million more times before things finally click but maybe I only need to try once more.
I’m working to just focus on getting back up after I fall. I really try not to focus on how many times I’ve already fallen or how many more times I’ll probably fall because that’s way too much.
It’s important that I focus on just one day at a time and one fall at a time. I have to learn to better block out the static and focus on the big picture.
Until the day comes where Autism is no longer a challenge and life isn’t quite so frustrating or exhausting, I’ll just do what I can do.