Sometimes life just really sucks and this is one of those times

Today kinda sucks because we are going to be missing out on my Grandfather’s birthday party.  I had every intention of going but so much in our lives is unpredictable. 

The party is about an hours drive away, which isn’t a huge deal but it’s also not right around the corner.  Gavin’s in the midst of a psychotic break and I’m not comfortable putting him in a situation, where be it through excitement or stress, he gets worse. 

For kids with Autism, bi-polar or Schizoaffective Disorder, it doesn’t really matter what form the stimulation comes in, it’s going to have the same stressful impact.  I know that might not make sense but it’s just the way it is and with Gavin already struggling, I can’t in good conscience, put him in a situation that would possibly make things worse for him and subsequently us.

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Frankly, that’s really a moot point anyway because three of the five of us are running fevers and seem to be coming down with something. 

I’m writing this at about 2am and both Elliott and Emmett are still awake.  That makes three nights in a row that Emmett’s not been able to fall asleep. 

I know Emmett’s not feeling well and I do think that his fever is caused by illness this time and not a fever flare because both he and Lizze have the same symptoms.

This is one of those situations where I know we’re doing the right thing but at the same time, I feel so bad that we’re missing this get together.  I know the boys would have had fun and it would’ve been really nice to see everyone. 

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I know that we tend to shy away from things like this because of the fallout afterwards but this would have been an exception. 

The circumstances being what they are, I’m trying to limit Gavin’s excitement and we have him on the equivalent of a sensory diet, with the exception of his tablet.  We’re hoping that by limiting his stress levels, we can help him find his way out the other side of this psychotic tunnel. 

It’s what we’ve always been told to do by his doctors but it’s just really shitty timing. 

Normally, I feel good about doing the right thing, regardless of what it looks like to everyone else but this is a rough one for me personally.  ūüôĀ

Everyone says they understand but sometimes I wonder if they really do or if they’re just being nice…. 😔