I thought I would share how Lizze and I have decided to handle Thanksgiving this year. There are many things that influenced our decisions but our number one priority is focusing on the kids. We are also paying attention to comfort levels because not everyone has fully accepted Lizze back into the family and we don’t want to make anything more awkward than it needs to be.
The biggest factor in our decision making process though, was Gavin. We need to limit his level of excitement, as per doctors orders.
Having said all that, we will be going to dinner at my parents house. Most of my siblings will be at their significant others for dinner but will be stopping by for dessert. This will give us a chance to visit with my grandparents and other extended family We will be there for dinner and then leaving to visit Lizze’s family for dessert. This allows us to visit both sides of our family and sorta manage the flow of stress.
One of the things that we’ve learned from our separation and Lizze’s dance with caretaker burnout is that we need to strike a better balance between avoiding situations that will overstimulate the kids and participating in family activities, especially on the holidays.
This is much easier said than done because we’re in a constant state of exhaustion and sometimes hanging on to our sanity by a thread. Anything that causes stress to the kids and sets them off is something we’re instinctively wanting to avoid. At the very same time, we also realize the importance of spending time with our families, even if there will be a price we have to pay afterwards.
Striking that balance is a very tricky thing and frankly, it’s been something that we’ve historically struggled with.
Being able to strike some kind of balance will help us to stay connected with family and still keep maintain the ability to limit the kids to overstimulating situations. We haven’t mastered this by any stretch of the imagination but I feel like we’ve at least identified a problem and are actively working to find the best solution.
I don’t know about Christmas just yet because that’s easily the worst holiday in regards to overstimulation. Perhaps we’ll work on some new traditions this Christmas and have people stop by our house to visit, rather than dragging the boys anywhere.