I apologize a head of time for any typos. My eye’s are rolling into the back of my head as I’m finishing this. I’m correct any grammar blemishes in the morning.
For those who are new here, this Thanksgiving is the first Thanksgiving or holiday for that matter, that we will be spending as a family in almost two years. Lizze and I went through a separation for about 18 months and only reconciled this past June.
Things are great between her and I. The separation really had nothing to do with issues between her and I but rather what we’ve recently learned was caretaker burnout. There’s more to the story than that but that pretty much sums it up. It was a difficult time for everyone, especially the boys. I really struggled for many reasons but largely because I didn’t understand what had happened. Frankly, Lizze didn’t either at the time.
The point is, holidays were horrible for me personally. I hated every minute of us not being together as a family on the holidays and it killed me to ship the kids back and forth.
I used to dream about putting our family back together again and moving forward. The fact that we have done so, means more to me than I could ever express. Being together for Thanksgiving is something that I’m so incredibly grateful for.
Having said all that, I find that I’m too stressed out to even sleep tonight.
While the boys and I have welcomed Lizze home with open hearts and open arms, the same can’t be said for everyone. There are still some holdouts who haven’t been very welcoming, supportive or understanding of our situation. It’s difficult for people who have no experience in things like special needs parenting, to understand how that can take a toll on a person after well over a decade.
The reason I’m so stressed out is because family isn’t supposed to be this way. No family is perfect, least of all mine but I wish I was able to count on everyone the way they have always been able to count on me. I feel like maybe we should be keeping to ourselves for right now. I know this weighs heavy on Lizze and it certainly does for me.