My son is being bullied at school and here’s what we did about it

It’s late, and I’m tired, so I’m just going to jump right into things tonight. 

Lizze and I met with Elliott’s teachers this morning in regards to our suspicion that Elliott might be getting bullied at school. We were concerned but didn’t want to jump the gun because it was possible that Elliott was misinterpreting what was happening.  

We just needed to get our facts straight before deciding how best to handle this.

As it turns out, Elliott is indeed being bullied by a kid in his class. It was also the same kid we had suspected as well. What we hadn’t prepared for were the teachers to know already about it.  That part caught me off guard because I had assumed if there was a problem, they would have reached out to us.  

Apparently, the teachers are well aware of the problem, but they haven’t been able to catch him in the act. 
According to them, this kid is sneaky and only does these things when the teachers aren’t around or aren’t paying attention because they’re teaching a group or something. I do understand that, but I don’t understand why we had to go to the teachers.  

Shouldn’t they have come to us? 

Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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Braden

I’m curious about the school. Since it’s a school for autism (and other diagnosis I believe), isn’t socialization and behavior a huge part of the daily curriculum? Hopefully this can be a learning tool for not only the ‘bully’ but Elliott too.

Rob Gorski

You would think but I don’t know if I would say that there is a huge focus on that.

Kim Gebhardt

Good morning, Rob. I’m curious what exactly is happening. Is this kid really a bully or is he just a dick? As for the teachers coming to you, I can see both sides of it. They have no proof of what is going on and haven’t been able to stop it. So they would basically be coming to you and saying, “Your kid is being picked on and we haven’t done anything about it yet because we can’t catch the jackass who’s doing it in the act”. That probably wouldn’t go over so well with you or the other parents involved. And speaking of other parents, that leads me to another question… are you and Lizze in contact with any of the other parents from the school? Most people I know are in at least loose contact with the parents of the kids in school. A united front might be helpful if this kid continues to be a problem.

BJW

I hope this will all go away. I remember my sons’ teachers being pretty uncaring about bullying, because it was hard to catch. Kids saying nasty things in passing to classes, or “accidentally” running into a student…those were things that were hard to catch. The principal had assemblies about bullying, but it didn’t mean anything.

Rob Gorski

Bullying is a huge problem in our schools… I wish we could snuff bullying out once and for all.

Braden

So what exactly is happening and what is the plan?

Braden

Depending on exactly what is happening, I can see the schools not wanting to get the parents involved too early. We (rightfully) would overreact at even hearing the word…so I wouldn’t think anything of them trying to manage it themselves at first. Especially in today’s climate where everything is considered ‘bullying’

Sounds like you will be kept in the loop on anything that comes of it, so that is a good thing.

Rob Gorski

Well said Braden. It’s a tough situation to manage.

jph

Ideally the best way to sort out a bully is to bully him/her.if you know of any lad that might be willing to put the frighteners on this cowardly sadistic swine then get him to do it.or have the bullies dad find out about it. You’ve done the right thing in sticking up for your son though. I’m my view bullying is one of the most evil things there is.

Rob Gorski

While on some level, I completely agree but we can’t lower ourselves to that level. One can dream though… 🙂

Braden

I’m curious about the school. Since it’s a school for autism (and other diagnosis I believe), isn’t socialization and behavior a huge part of the daily curriculum? Hopefully this can be a learning tool for not only the ‘bully’ but Elliott too.

Rob Gorski

You would think but I don’t know if I would say that there is a huge focus on that.

Kim Gebhardt

Good morning, Rob. I’m curious what exactly is happening. Is this kid really a bully or is he just a dick? As for the teachers coming to you, I can see both sides of it. They have no proof of what is going on and haven’t been able to stop it. So they would basically be coming to you and saying, “Your kid is being picked on and we haven’t done anything about it yet because we can’t catch the jackass who’s doing it in the act”. That probably wouldn’t go over so well with you or the other parents involved. And speaking of other parents, that leads me to another question… are you and Lizze in contact with any of the other parents from the school? Most people I know are in at least loose contact with the parents of the kids in school. A united front might be helpful if this kid continues to be a problem.

Braden

Depending on exactly what is happening, I can see the schools not wanting to get the parents involved too early. We (rightfully) would overreact at even hearing the word…so I wouldn’t think anything of them trying to manage it themselves at first. Especially in today’s climate where everything is considered ‘bullying’

Sounds like you will be kept in the loop on anything that comes of it, so that is a good thing.

Rob Gorski

Well said Braden. It’s a tough situation to manage.

jph

Ideally the best way to sort out a bully is to bully him/her.if you know of any lad that might be willing to put the frighteners on this cowardly sadistic swine then get him to do it.or have the bullies dad find out about it. You’ve done the right thing in sticking up for your son though. I’m my view bullying is one of the most evil things there is.

Rob Gorski

While on some level, I completely agree but we can’t lower ourselves to that level. One can dream though… 🙂

BJW

I hope this will all go away. I remember my sons’ teachers being pretty uncaring about bullying, because it was hard to catch. Kids saying nasty things in passing to classes, or “accidentally” running into a student…those were things that were hard to catch. The principal had assemblies about bullying, but it didn’t mean anything.

Rob Gorski

Bullying is a huge problem in our schools… I wish we could snuff bullying out once and for all.

Braden

So what exactly is happening and what is the plan?