Merry Meltdowns

The day after a major holiday is usually one of the most difficult days as a special needs parent. Of all the major holidays that can present with day after fallout, Christmas is by far the worst. 

The boys have been freaking the fuck out, all day. Fighting and bickering is a constant issue today and frankly, it’s pushing me to the brink of insanity. 

I get upset and frustrated, like any parent would. The difference being that I have to keep in mind that at least some of this is out of their control. How much remains unclear but a large portion of this is related to overstimulation. 

On the other side if the coin, I don’t want to excuse their behavior simply because they are spectrum kids. They need to learn that their actions have consequences and those consequences need to be appropriate for their level of culpability. Does that make sense? 
You don’t punish a blind man for not being able to see. You would however, punish that same blind man for getting behind the wheel of a car and running people over. 

We are struggling today to find a balance today and I’m so exhausted that I just don’t have it left in my tank to keep this up. 

At this point, the boys can fight in their room. If they want to scream at each other, they can do so in their room.  If anything turns physical, we’ll intervene but for now, we can just monitor through the camera without being in the middle. 

I don’t know if that’s bad parenting. Shit, there’s no instructions for being a parent, let alone an Autism parent.  It’s very much a matter of trial and error, with a heaping helping of whatever the fuck it takes to survive…. 

I’d love to hear about your experience with this kind of thing… Please leave your thoughts in the comments below. 

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Kim

Why wouldn’t you separate them instead of sending them both to their room to continue fighting?

Kim

Fair enough. It was just a curiosity. As an aside, I cannot reply to your answer to me. I have tried 3 times and keep getting an ‘invalid captcha code’ error.

Cris Miller

Props. You found a safe place for the boys to have their meltdown without disrupting others. That’s really the best you can do. You can’t diffuse an Autistic Meltdown, or the bickering that results. Without knowing the entire situation, sounds like you did the best you could.

jasminehoar0

Props. You found a safe place for the boys to have their meltdown without disrupting others. That’s really the best you can do. You can’t diffuse an Autistic Meltdown, or the bickering that results. Without knowing the entire situation, sounds like you did the best you could.

callumpottinger

Thanks Cris. All we can do is our best.. 🙂

Kim

Fair enough. It was just a curiosity. As an aside, I cannot reply to your answer to me. I have tried 3 times and keep getting an ‘invalid captcha code’ error.

callumpottinger

Kim… Sorry for my snippy response. It’s been a really bad day and I didn’t mean to be snippety to an honest question.

As for the reply button, I’m not sure because I’m not having that issue. I’ll look into it.

Kim

Why wouldn’t you separate them instead of sending them both to their room to continue fighting?

callumpottinger

Because that’s just what we’re doing at this point. I don’t have an answer. It’s just what we’re choosing to do

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