When to hold a special needs child accountable 

I love having the boys home but I hate these four-day weekends because they totally throw me off the following week. All day today I thought it was Sunday because the boys were home from school. I’ll end up being a day off for most of the week.  😁 

Putting that aside, I think we had a pretty good extended weekend. 

We didn’t have the money to really go anywhere but we took the kids walking,  three out of the last four days. In total, we did about five or six miles and that’s pretty good. 

Emmett was in flipflops because he wouldn’t tolerate his shoes but he only had a couple of issues within that five or six miles, where his feet were bothering him. 

I’m hoping to make this a regular thing and build this habit into our schedule at least two or three times a week. 

I will say that Elliott and Emmett were in rare form for most of the weekend. They were at each other’s throats and generally out of control. That didn’t ruin the weekend at all but it did make it trying. 

I don’t know what’s going on with the two youngest but they have been exceptionally difficult lately. Lizze and I are going to spend the first part of the week formulating a plan to regain some of that control. 

It’s not easy when it comes to special needs kids because there’s a tendency to let some things slide because of all the struggles they face. This is true in my case but it’s not really a cut and dry thing. 

I’m sure I’ll speak more about this as we figure this stuff out but it’s just one of those things that can happen with special needs families. It’s not always easy or possible to know what’s within their control and what isn’t. 

Regardless, I’ve always been of the mind set that Autism or whatever else they have going on, doesn’t absolve them of taking responsibility for their own actions. 

During the time that my wife and I were separated, I dropped the ball in this area. I was trying to compensate for what they were going through and I shelved that approach for awhile. 

It’s high time we bring that back out of retirement and get things back on track. 

To be clear, my kids are very polite and respectful, especially at school or when people are around. It’s when they’re home and can sorta let go that we have problems with getting them to listen or follow direction. 

Like I said, they’re dealing with Autism, severe anxiety, ADHD and significant sensory processing issues. These things really muddy the water and make it difficult to know how to deal with any given circumstance. 

That said, we have to figure something out and that will likely require lots of patience, a whole lot more patience and some trial and error. 

As we work to move forward on this, I’ll do my best to share our plan. If I forget to do that, feel free to give me a nudge. 

2 Comments

  1. kimmy gebhardt

    Siblings fight, and I think it gets worse the longer they’re in the same space with no break. Do they ever go on play dates without the other one? To a friend’s house? I feel like a lot of parents like to do the ‘It’s your brother/sister and (s)he is your best friend!’ thing without realizing that sometimes siblings need space from one another. Get them involved in independent activities and they will probably like each other more and get along better as a result.

    1. You know, that’s actually on our list of things to do as we move into the warmer months. As for play dates, I don’t know how that would go. I think that’s a tough situation for most families in my position.

      We’re looking at some geology programs for the summer because both boys are fascinated by the subject. Even if they both go to the same program, they will be around other people…

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