There’s been major fallout today and it’s a lot to handle

It's not uncommon for there to be what I refer to as fallout following any type of stimulating event, in regards to an Autistic child. That stimulating event can be positive or negative, it doesn't matter. An example of what could be viewed as negative stimuli would be something like visiting the dentist. That's stressful for most kids but it's often a sensory nightmare for Autistic kids. On the flip side, positive stimuli could be something like a birthday party or exciting holiday. The point is, it's the stimulus that can create the problem. Fallout is simply what I've dubbed the behavioral issues I tend to see following one such event. In this case, it was a parental visit and birthday party. The visits are a positive thing, as is…

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I had a f*cking terrible, heartbreaking afternoon

I'm going be very honest with you tonight, I'm not having the best of days. I know that I'm going to have days where I'm doing okay and others where I'm barely able to breathe. Today is one of those days where I'm barely able to breathe. If I told you that I was feeling overwhelmed by everything, that would be akin to saying the Grand Canyon is just a ditch. It's an understatement of magnanimous proportions. Most of the time I don't think about my marriage imploding, how much responsibility I have, or how lonely this all feels. Most of the time I try to focus on the positive and continue working to forge a new path forward. Other times, however, I feel like I'm being buried alive and…


I don’t know what to do with myself

The kids left a couple hours ago and it's something that I'm still getting used to. I love every breath just to be around my kids. When there gone, it's like I don't know what to do with myself. Weird huh? It's something that I'll adjust to over time and they're never gone for more than 24 hours or so. It's good for them and I need to find things to occupy my me time. This is my exhausted but putting in the effort look. I mentioned yesterday that I was craving Chipotle. It's been a couple of months since I was last there and I figured, what the hell. Rather than just go get a burrito, I decided I should earn the burrito first. As soon as the kids…


I’m feeling pretty accomplished this morning

It was a night of bad dreams and being kicked in the nuts by Mr. Emmett as he tossed and turned all night. I need to get something figured out with him because we all need to sleep. I gave up and went downstairs about 6AM. That gave me an hour to myself before everyone else got up. Gavin got up super early so that he could take his morning meds and sleep them off before he had to leave for his mom's. He actually did it and our plan seems to be working because he went back to bed for a couple of hours and is feeling better. Great job Gavin. ☺ Anyway, I have the boys ready to go and even cut Gavin's hair in time for him…


The kids will have a short visit this weekend

This is going to be sort of a weird weekend. The boys will be going over to visit their mom for a couple hours before heading to a birthday party. They'll be gone from 10 AM to about 3PM-ish. This will be a short visit for the kids and they probably aren't going to be happy about that. They are aware of the timeframe but haven't complained about it since I told them they were going. I'm thrilled they get to visit. It's important that they maintain a relationship with their mom. I'm not sure what I'm going to do during my brief parenting break but I do suspect it will include a Chipotle burrito. I haven't had one in forever and it really sounds good.

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