Read more about the article I’m so f*cking proud of my kids
My thoughts / Today's Victory

I’m so f*cking proud of my kids

Shortly after I published the last post about the kids not going to school, they ended up going to school. It wasn't until closer to noon but they went and that's positive. Perhaps all they needed was some time to get settled and work through whatever it was they were dealing with. Either way, they both went back. Elliott was less enthusiastic then Emmett was but he still went back. I spoke with the office and made some arrangements for Elliott to spend time drawing if he gets too stressed out. That's a far better alternative than sending him home. The school said that was no problem at all. Hopefully, when he walks out the door this afternoon, he had a chance to draw so he feels like he's been…

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September 10, 2019
Read more about the article Sometimes I’m just not enough
My thoughts

Sometimes I’m just not enough

I fucking hate everything that my kids are going through right now. It's not fair that they are expected to deal with the consequences of adult decisions. They didn't ask for this and yet they're the ones paying the highest price. Emmett was wrapped around my arm for most of the night. I'm not sure if he was having bad dreams but he was clamped on pretty tight. Elliott struggled to even fall asleep but thankfully, seems to have slept. Both boys are so stressed out that they are sick to their stomachs. Emmett wouldn't even get out of bed this morning because he felt so awful. He loves school but came home sick yesterday and ended up not going this morning. Neither did Elliott because he was nauseous. Neither…

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September 10, 2019
Read more about the article My kids aren’t doing well and one of them couldn’t make it through the school day
Emmett John / My thoughts

My kids aren’t doing well and one of them couldn’t make it through the school day

I had a busy day planned but unfortunately, it derailed by 9:30 AM. I got the kids to school without much problem. Everyone was fine and I thought - and this is where I went wrong - I thought everything was going to be okay. Gavin and I went walking and I took him for his blood work. While I was waiting for him to come out, I got an email from the school saying that Emmett wasn't feeling well and they'd let me know if he needed to go home. His teachers said he was doing okay for the moment. I called the school and was going to explain that I didn't want him pushed too far because I'm pretty sure this is emotionally based and he's made himself…

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September 9, 2019
Read more about the article It’s only been a month, and the truth is, I hurt
My thoughts

It’s only been a month, and the truth is, I hurt

One of the more frustrating things about going it alone with my kids is that sleep can get very challenging, even moreso than before. Last night, I went to bed at 9:30 PM, thinking that because I was already so tired, I would fall asleep pretty easily. Unfortunately, I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight because I couldn't shut my brain off. I woke up at 2 AM and laid there, lost in my swirling thoughts until after 4 AM. When I did sleep, it was restless due to nightmares about memories that were once treasured but now deeply hurt upon recollection. Going without sleep is not an option but I'm very hesitant to take anything, even melatonin. Those things tend to hit me pretty hard and I need to…

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September 9, 2019
Read more about the article He cleans up well
Gavin / My thoughts

He cleans up well

Gavin shaves his head and he has for years. He likes it but it also makes hygiene much easier for him as well. I cut Gavin's hair before he went to see his mom and go to the birthday party this past Saturday. All I'm going to say is, he cleans up well, doesn't he.. ☺ ♥

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September 9, 2019
Read more about the article If all goes well, this is what will happen
My thoughts

If all goes well, this is what will happen

The plan for this morning, assuming everyone cooperates, is to get the kids to school, go walking, take Gavin for his blood work and fill our five gallon water jugs. That should take Gavin and I until lunchtime. Again, assuming everyone makes it through the day at school, I plan to spend the time while Gavin's sleeping off his meds, getting some writing done. I want to get my Jabra Elite 85h Noise Canceling headphones review done. Jabra has been very patient with me and while they've told me not to worry about it, I want to get it done for me. It's important that I live up to me end. I have review products coming in this week and I need to get caught up. Hopefully, this all goes…

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September 9, 2019
Read more about the article It’s been a heartbreaking weekend but here’s how we turned it around
My thoughts

It’s been a heartbreaking weekend but here’s how we turned it around

I mentioned earlier that things were pretty rough here in The Autism Dad household today. The kids were struggling and overwhelmed by everything going on around them. My goto solution in a situation like this is getting the kids out of the house and into nature, at least weather permitting. That's exactly what we did. Mind you, it wasn't easy to get them out the door and we didn't go anywhere fancy, but we didn't need to. Emmett was struggling with his clothes today, specifically his shirts. He was getting very frustrated because nothing felt right against his skin. I told him that his body is probably just stressed out and if he can find a shirt that doesn't bother him too much, getting out of the house and being…

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September 8, 2019
Read more about the article There’s been major fallout today and it’s a lot to handle
Insights and Education / My thoughts / Visitation

There’s been major fallout today and it’s a lot to handle

It's not uncommon for there to be what I refer to as fallout following any type of stimulating event, in regards to an Autistic child. That stimulating event can be positive or negative, it doesn't matter. An example of what could be viewed as negative stimuli would be something like visiting the dentist. That's stressful for most kids but it's often a sensory nightmare for Autistic kids. On the flip side, positive stimuli could be something like a birthday party or exciting holiday. The point is, it's the stimulus that can create the problem. Fallout is simply what I've dubbed the behavioral issues I tend to see following one such event. In this case, it was a parental visit and birthday party. The visits are a positive thing, as is…

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September 8, 2019