A sometimes politically incorrect open letter about #Autism Parenting 

Going into this post, please know that I truly understand that every parent faces challenge and struggle. Parenting isn’t easy and that should go without saying.  When I speak about the unique challenges facing Autism parents, it’s not meant to invalidate the difficulties associated with everyday parenting.

At the same time, just as it’s important to understand that parenting in general isn’t easy, it’s important to understand that Autism parenting is something all together different.



Something that’s gotten under my skin a bit recently, is the way some people have reacted to my mentioning of taking a nap on some days. I’m not sure why anyone would care about that but clearly it’s rubbing some people the wrong way.

I’ve decided that I’m going to share a few thoughts I have on this particular subject because if this is happening to me, it probably happening to others as well.
When you come to The Autism Dad Blog, you’re coming here to read about what life is like for one Autism family. Every Autism family is unique but the insight I’m providing my audience, can help them better relate to an Autism family in their own lives.

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I very openly and honesty share the joys, victories, struggles and heartache that my wife and I face on a daily basis. The only motive is to help educate as well as reach out to other parents in similar circumstance, to ensure they know they aren’t alone.



Let me tell you a little something about my life as an Autism parent. It’s hard. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. To put that statement into perspective,  I used to run into burning houses and pull people out of truly horrific car wrecks or manage codes for over 45 minutes before arriving at the hospital. I did that for a living and comparatively speaking, being an Autism Dad is infinitely more challenging.

You know what? I’m fucking tired! I’m fucking tired all the time and I’m not ashamed to admit that.

I’m overwhelmed. I’m burnt the fuck out and I don’t sleep worth a shit anymore because my kids don’t sleep worth a shit.

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Even when my kids do sleep for a period of time, my sleep is broken and restless because I’m so stressed out that my brain won’t stop trying to process all the shit I lived through the day before.

Even if my brain would shut off and my kids would actually sleep, I’d still be sleeping with one eye open because I’m worried about my kids wandering the house, getting into things or getting hurt.

This doesn’t happen on occasion. This has happened pretty much every single night since Gavin began waking up with night terrors multiple times a night when he was very young.

Since his regression started shortly after he turned four years old, we’ve had to monitor him 24/7 because he would literally eat anything he could get his hands on.  It’s called Pica and I can’t tell you how many emergency room visits we’ve been on as a result of him eating things you wouldn’t think possible.

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9 Comments on "A sometimes politically incorrect open letter about #Autism Parenting "

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Braden
Guest
Since two people mentioned naps and I was one of them…I will mention again that all I said was that working parents do not have that luxury. Period. Because they don’t. You read WAY MORE into it than that. I believe Jimmy Rock was much more softer with his comments on that topic, so maybe you will hear that message better. On the topic of working, my nickel advice to you…. I have seen you mention a few times lately that you aren’t working because of Gavin and your need to be his full time caregiver. That reason has changed… Read more »
Rob Gorski
Guest
For the record, this wasn’t directed at anyone in particular and certainly not you personally. Yes, you’ve made comments about naps or whatever but you’re always diplomatic and respectful. It’s an open letter because I’m just venting frustration in regards to a general lack of understanding the world has towards Autism parents. We are frequently judged and ridiculed because the world does that understand why things are the way they are. My purpose in this letter was to address one of the most common criticisms parents like myself get and that’s related to being tired all the time. As for… Read more »
Rob Gorski
Guest
For the record, this wasn’t directed at anyone in particular and certainly not you personally. Yes, you’ve made comments about naps or whatever but you’re always diplomatic and respectful. It’s an open letter because I’m just venting frustration in regards to a general lack of understanding the world has towards Autism parents. We are frequently judged and ridiculed because the world does that understand why things are the way they are. My purpose in this letter was to address one of the most common criticisms parents like myself get and that’s related to being tired all the time. As for… Read more »
pegster999
Guest

Stop posting you’re taking a nap. It’s nobody else’s business. I don’t see why you see it necessary to post that. I see it in your posts at least once a week. It seems like you’re baiting the trolls.

Rob Gorski
Guest

No one’s baiting anyone. I’m also not going to censor myself because some people take issue with my words. The whole point is to share what I deal with on a daily basis. When you don’t get more than a couple of hours of sleep a night, it takes its toll and sometimes, a nap is necessary in order to function.

The trolls will create trouble regardless of what I say

pegster999
Guest

Stop posting you’re taking a nap. It’s nobody else’s business. I don’t see why you see it necessary to post that. I see it in your posts at least once a week. It seems like you’re baiting the trolls.

Rob Gorski
Guest

No one’s baiting anyone. I’m also not going to censor myself because some people take issue with my words. The whole point is to share what I deal with on a daily basis. When you don’t get more than a couple of hours of sleep a night, it takes its toll and sometimes, a nap is necessary in order to function.

The trolls will create trouble regardless of what I say

stevelip
Guest
Rob I just came across your blog today so I know this is an old conversation. But as a Dad of identical twin boys with autism I really appreciate you taking the time to share your personal experiences, thoughts, and insights. It’s really helpful to me as a parent going through similar struggles. I can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would jump in to question or judge what you are doing and sharing. Do they really have so little going on in their own lives they have time for that? If so, maybe they could come fold… Read more »