I’m heartbroken over forcing my son with #Autism to go to school today

I ended up being a bit more gruff than I wanted to and I put his shoe on and tied it, before leading him into the school. I wasn’t mean or anything like that but I don’t think Emmett sees it that way. 

The poor kid was so stressed out but I walked him to his classroom and we spoke with his teacher about how things were going with his shoes and socks this morning. She assured him that she would be there to help him if he needed anything. 

He went into the classroom on his own and did so without saying goodbye. 

I know he feels that I forced him to go today and that I must not understand what he’s experiencing. Lizze and I both did what we thought was the right thing to do but that doesn’t prevent me from feeling absolutely horrible about this. 

This whole shoes and socks thing is getting worse. I’ve no idea how to help him with this. We’re doing every sensory related thing we can within our home and nothing seems to help. We’ve worked with OT for years on this and it’s not making much of a difference. 



I hate feeling like a monster for making Emmett go to school, even when his shoes and/or socks are making him miserable. I realize that he has to go to school but there has to be a better solution. 

16 comments

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  1. I get it. My oldest often battles fatigue, irritability and autoimmune flare ups. I have days like this too I feel bad for sending him but he’s missed many days already.

    1. It’s so hard to know what the right thing to do is. I feel for you Rebecca

    • Lucy on May 3, 2017 at 5:44 pm
    • Reply

    Feel for you, I know how it can emotionally drain you, leaving you feel bad all day.

    1. Yes it can and often does. Do you face this challenge as well?

  2. I get it. My oldest often battles fatigue, irritability and autoimmune flare ups. I have days like this too I feel bad for sending him but he’s missed many days already.

    1. It’s so hard to know what the right thing to do is. I feel for you Rebecca

    • Lucy on February 19, 2018 at 12:54 pm
    • Reply

    Feel for you, I know how it can emotionally drain you, leaving you feel bad all day.

    1. Yes it can and often does. Do you face this challenge as well?

  3. You’re not being a monster. At some point, he is going to have to learn to deal with his sensory issues in a way that doesn’t involve kicking and screaming, and missing more school really isn’t an option for him. I’m coming at this from a non-parental guilt angle and I realize that you probably feel awful, especially since he didn’t say goodbye, but this might be exactly what he needed to have happen in order to start learning that life can’t stop when his shoes feel funny. I don’t mean that in a mean or harsh way, I understand that this is a very real problem for him, but it’s one that he needs to work on overcoming. Forcing the issue might be a step in the right direction.

    1. I certainly hope you’re right but I know that most adults with Autism have told me otherwise and I find them to be an incredible resource… I’ll talk to his OT again today and find out how far is too far… Thanks for the support Kim.. ☺️

  4. i cannot even imagine,prayers for you and for finding the better way

    1. Awe. Thank you

    • kimmy gebhardt on February 19, 2018 at 12:31 pm
    • Reply

    You’re not being a monster. At some point, he is going to have to learn to deal with his sensory issues in a way that doesn’t involve kicking and screaming, and missing more school really isn’t an option for him. I’m coming at this from a non-parental guilt angle and I realize that you probably feel awful, especially since he didn’t say goodbye, but this might be exactly what he needed to have happen in order to start learning that life can’t stop when his shoes feel funny. I don’t mean that in a mean or harsh way, I understand that this is a very real problem for him, but it’s one that he needs to work on overcoming. Forcing the issue might be a step in the right direction.

    1. I certainly hope you’re right but I know that most adults with Autism have told me otherwise and I find them to be an incredible resource… I’ll talk to his OT again today and find out how far is too far… Thanks for the support Kim.. ☺️

  5. i cannot even imagine,prayers for you and for finding the better way

    1. Awe. Thank you



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