It’s been a frustrating day for me and if there was a circus nearby, I might have just run away and joined it. The day started out rough and it just went downhill from there. Actually, it was a rough night prior because Emmett struggled to sleep and literally glued himself to me and that pretty much killed any hopes of me finding sleep.
The boys did great in class today. Good for them, I’m very proud. Emmett is struggling a bit with what amounts to the remote learning version of homework. He keeps falling behind and it’s clear that remote learning is a struggle for him.
It’s frustrating for me because I know this isn’t what he normally does and trying to constantly stay on him about it, without further overwhelming him is a delicate balance. It’s a very delicate balance that frankly, I don’t have the time, patience or energy for.
That’s an ongoing struggle and it’s not that he can’t do the work. I think he’s out of shits to give. 2020 has been a nightmare and he’s just over it. To be completely honest, I don’t blame him. At the same time, we still have to put our best foot forward and keep going through the motions in regards to school.
My final interview for the pod was today and I had another amazing guest. I feel like it was a great ending to a relatively successful season 3.
As per the norm, Emmett found a reason to inturrupt and but this time, rather than ask me questions that could have absolutely waited until I was done, he simply took over the interview for a few minutes. I’m serious. He took the mic and headphones and chatted with Nikki, my guest.
She was so gracious and genuinely enjoyed talking with him. As quickly and loudly as he entered the room, he abruptly ended the conversation and left. He was in rare form and I’m leaving the entire thing in because it would be a crime to rob you all of being able to experience it for yourselves.
When I finished and headed downstairs, the kids had been bickering and tensions were high. It didn’t take anything to trigger fights between the the three of them.
This continued for most of the day and even spilled into my therapy session. I get one hour a week to focus on myself and today I spent a good chunk of it mediating brotherly drama that spilled through my closed bedroom door. It was all petty bickering and it totally could have waited until I was done but nope.
My therapist was cracking up the whole time. In fairness, it was pretty humorous and it did give her first hand knowledge of why I need therpy in the first place. 😂
The rest of the day was just sorta blah. The kids fought on and off. I tried to get Emmett to focus on his school work and that just wasn’t happening.
This is one of those times where being a single parent really sucks. I needed to tag out and there was no one to tag in. I’m not angry about it and I’m certainly not angry with my kids. At the same time, it’s overwhelming and frustrating. I have a lot on my plate and it’s not all that often that I’m asked how I’m doing. It’s been happening a bit recently though and it’s pretty awesome. I truly appreciate when someone thinks about me enough to ask.
At the end of today, I’m fucking exhausted. I’m so tired and I just want to hit the sack and actually sleep through the night.
Anyway, I hope all of you as doing well or at least as well as can be expected. These are tough times and we’re all in this together.
The title of this blog entry is spot on.
I know I’m not in your shoes obviously, but you are going to HAVE to put your foot down with the kids when it comes to your therapy time. You just have to, this is your time and you are doing it as much for them as you are yourself. They are old enough to understand you need this time and unless someone is bleeding or something is on fire they have to manage without you for at least one hour (a week?) Sometimes you just have to be firm with things and set some boundaries. They are old enough.