One step closer

Part of preparing for our upcoming trip is getting Ruby ready to be boarded. In order to do that, she needed a check up and a vaccine for kennel cough. Emmett was with me at this point and we took Ruby to the vet together. He was a big help and Ruby did awesome. She didn't need muzzled and that is always a good thing. Ruby is a really good dog but the first time she met the vet, she was really freaked out and kept growling. She had to be muzzled as a precaution. Since then, she's done great and yesterday was no expection. Afterwards, we figured we'd take her for a short walk and sorta reward her for doing such a good job. We ended up at the…


Welcome to the f*cking brink of insanity

I'm getting very close to the end of my rope today and teetering on the brink of insanity. My kids are amazing and I love the completely. They are, however, struggling a great deal and it's impacting every aspect of our lives. Elliott has been in a horrible mood, all day long. He's being mean to his brother and refusing to cooperate at every turn. I happen to know that he's very angry, scared, confused and heartbroken. I also know that he's desperately trying to regain some control in his life and is taking it to an extreme. I get it and I'm not angry but this isn't productive and we need to find better ways of managing our pain. Emmett had a massive emotional breakdown tonight. He was trying…


This kids inspires me every single day

A rough night lead to a challenging morning but all was not lost. Emmett had nightmares all night long. They were particularly cruel and unrelenting this time. To make matters worse, he woke up around 5:30 AM with a nose bleed. By the time the alarm went off, he was pretty much on the verge of a panic attack. He was shaking, nauseous and exhausted. He was already convinced that he was not going to be able to manage school today. We were supposed to bump things up to 2 hours a day this week and he was freaking out. The poor kid was completely over his limit and it wasn't looking like a particularly good start to the week, even by Monday's standards. Rather than give up, I encouraged…

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Have I said how proud of him I am?

This week marks another step towards getting Emmett back to school full time. As of bedtime, he was maintaining a positive outlook and I'm so proud of him for that. The plan for this week is to stay at school for 2 - 2.5 hours before I come pick him up. I think he's going to do great. His attitude is "I don't feel bad about going and I don't feel super excited either, but I think I can do it." Have I said I'm proud of him yet? ☺


We finally have a plan to help my youngest

We finally have a workable plan, at least in theory, to help Emmett get back to school. Again, this is a nonperfect approach to a very challenging and fluid situation, but it's a plan nonetheless. Emmett is dealing with some very serious emotional challenges right now and it's interfering with every aspect of his life, especially school. He's been unable to attend regularly for weeks and that's a major problem. I have a whole team of people working together to help get him through this. The two main options in regards to school were either home instruction or homeschooling. Home instruction is where the school sends a teach out a few days a week to work with Emmett. Homeschooling is much more challenging and basically involves me educating Emmett at…


I’m really struggling with my youngest

Just a quick update on Emmett. I haven't heard anything from the school as to what our options are. I did talk to his therapist tonight and our goal is to get him back into the classroom but we also recognize that this will likely be a process. Right now the plan is at home instruction. The details of that will have to be worked out, assuming it ends up being a viable option. The goal is to get him on the road to getting back to school. We're currently brainstorming ideas but the bottomline is this. We have to help him obtain and utilize the tools necessary to get through this. That's proving very challenging. His therapist will have documentation for the school by Friday and that will help…

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There’s no way to prepare for your child being in crisis

Emmett didn't go to school today and I took him with me walking this morning. I'm really struggling with this but I still need to take care of myself. It's not a perfect solution but in the absence of any workable options, I'm doing the best I can. All I will say is that what Emmett is going through emotionally is serious enough to limit my options and absolutely must be taken seriously. I should hear back from the school tomorrow about our options. Until then, I'm struggling to keep him above water and moving forward. He's in therapy and getting all the help he needs but nothing is going to fix this. It's a process that he must go through and we need to provide him whatever tools or…

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I may have to pull my youngest out of school and I don’t know what to do

I've spent part of the evening messaging back and forth with the principal at the boys school. We're trying to figure out a solution for Emmett while he's in the state he's in. Being in the classroom is clearly not working out for him right now and so we're looking at a few options. I spoke with Emmett's mom and we feel like school is simply too much for him at the moment. I'm not a fan of pulling him out because I think that it's a bandaid fix and unless we address the underlying issues, this is only going to get worse.. Emmett is still struggling with more shit than he can cope with and it's got him in a darker place right now. I'm the first person he's…

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