I hope you can learn something from my #divorce

It's been a very challenging day. I got the kids off to school and then met with Lizze and the kids therapist to hammer out all the important details of our pending dissolution. It's complicated for a number of reasons but it's incredibly civil, there's absolutely no animosity and everything is already worked out. While I would never have chosen this as our path, I do take comfort in the knowledge that this will not be ugly and that frankly, it's almost over. This isn't easy at all but I'm grateful that Lizze is working with me to ensure the best interests of our kids. Divorce is a shitty, painful thing, but it doesn't have to be ugly. War does not have to be waged and even if I don't…

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I was actually social last night, if you can believe that

The kids spent the night at their mom and grandparents house. They'll be home in a couple hours and for right now, I'm enjoying the quiet. It sounds like the visit is going well and that always makes me happy. :) Last night I swung by to say hi to my mom and ended up staying for hours. Some of my siblings stopped by as well and we ended up having an impromptu family dinner. It was completely unplanned but it was such a good time. Since I've been on my own again, I haven't really put myself out there. I've become very much a homebody and when the kids are gone, I tend to not do anything. I really miss having even the semblance of a social life. Rather…

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Because it needs to be said

So we had a really emotional therapy session tonight. We're talking the kind that of emotional that leaves you exhausted the following day. I can already feel the emotional hangover coming. Tonight was all about the divorce related issues the kids are struggling with. Their mom was there and while it was very emotionally charged, it really did serve a purpose and I hope it helps to promote healing for the kids. I'm very upfront and honest when I say that I do not agree with anything she's done or any of the decisions she's made. I stand by that. At the same time. She's the mother of my children and that will never change. I'm trying to help the kids see this in something other than black and white…

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#Divorce isn’t easy for any child but #Autism can make it harder

My day is like an emotional roller-coaster. We absolutely had some high points but we also had low points and other points in between. Emmett absolutely kicked ass today and him returning to school full time is the highlight of my week right now. The problem is they are struggling with all that life has dealt them recently. They are very angry, hurt and confused. Divorce isn't easy for any child but kids on the spectrum can often struggle significantly more, for a million different reasons. We are still moving forward but they are very angry with their mom and it can sometimes spill over into our daily lives. It tends to happen mostly at night because that's when they're less distracted and think about it more. I'm trying to…

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It’s so f*cking heartbreaking

The boys came home around noon today and Elliott was in a mood from the moment he walked in the door. Visits are a mixed bag for any kid but when you factor in the complexity that Autism brings to the party, it's even more so. A mixed reaction to a visit with his mom doesn't necessarily reflect a bad visit. It's just a very difficult thing emotionally, to navigate and transition struggles are expected. That being said, he did eventually sit down and talk with me after he had a pretty big emotional outburst. Elliott doesn't like talking about his feelings and I can understand that, but we have to know what's going on in order to better help him. It's absolutely a work in progress but progress is…

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Are Dad’s going through #divorce supposed to admit this?

I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed and frustrated tonight. The boys have been at each other's throats all day and there were a few times where I was very close to reaching the end of my rope. Emmett is incredibly impulsive right now and it's difficult to manage that behavior at the moment. Elliott has a very, very short fuse and an opinion about everything. Between the two right now, there's a constant barrage of challenging situations to navigate. Gavin is doing pretty well and that's obviously a good thing. He's talking incessantly but that's par for the course with him. As for me, I'm really struggling. I'm stressed out, overwhemled, frustrated, heartbroken and confused about much of what's happened. I'm in therapy every Tuesday afternoon and while I enjoy going, I'm…

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Navigating #divorce with #Autistic kids can be very, very challenging but not impossible

We had a very, very emotional Wednesday night therapy session. It was emotional for a number of reasons but it ended in a positive way and the kids are better for it. I was a less than ideal situation but it was the lesser of two evils and kids needed to have some questions answered by their mom. It's not anything that I'm going to get into here but it was not a conversation either of us wanted to have but it had become clear that the kids were going down hill quickly because of how certain things were handled and the only way to help them past it was to give them more insight into what had happened to cause the split. It wasn't my story to tell and…

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The Good New and The Bad News

The boys had an overnight visit with their mom and grandparents last night. The very first of 2020. There were some minor issues with one of the kids while they were out and I called their mom last night to make sure everything was okay. She had handled the sitution well and I was more curious about how it was resolved. Anyway, my timing was fortuitous because Emmett had begun not feeling well. The night before he had started with a bad cough again but subsided by morning. Apparently, it returned towards the end of the day yesterday and I could hear him barking like a seal in the background. We decided that it would be best if I picked him up and brought him home. This was about 9:30…

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