It’s not perfect but the kids made it through the school day

Neither one of the boys came home from school early yesterday. Around lunchtime, I called because I wanted to make sure everything was okay. The office said that boys seem to be doing well and that made me feel so good. When I did pick up the kids, Emmett was in a great mood and Elliott wasn't too far off. He made it through the day but was not feeling well for most of it. I hate that he's so distressed it makes him physically ill but I'm incredibly proud of him for sticking it out. It feel like there's hope that we can work through this and get our lives back on track. This whole divorce thing has turned our lives inside out and upside down. There's no question…

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Trying to help my kids with some outside the box thinking thanks to @StarkParks

I was chatting with my friends at Stark Parks on Twitter this morning and I was reminded about the new Mindfulness Walk that was completed a few months ago. This is a walk through nature and it consists of 10 stations where you can stop, self-reflect and focus on your mental health. Ten stations promote relaxation, focus and awareness, reflection, and embracing the present moment. Examples include a zen sand garden, a musical instrument, stacking stones, and a labyrinth. It's beautiful and I've been meaning to get the kids out there all summer but it kept slipping my mind. I know the boys are having a very difficult time right now and I thought it might be the perfect time to help them unplug. Everyone was excited to go but Elliott. He was…

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My heart is breaking for my kids

The kids got off to school, but Elliott was already struggling before he left. To his credit, he went anyway and I'm proud of him for pushing himself. I know it's not easy for him or Emmett but it's only been a month and they need time to heal. Being Autistic, likely means that this will be even harder for them. Gavin and I went walking with my Mom after dropping the boys off at school. I think she's about 2 months post knee replacement now and this is the first time I've been able to walk with her for a long time. We used to meet every day and walk a few miles but her knee was so bad that she couldn't. She's doing awesome and we walked 1.5…

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Love, patience, understanding and therapy

It's been a day. That about sums it up. It's not been particularly good or bad, it's just sorta blah. The kids got to school and did so mostly on time. Gavin and I went walking after that and he did really well. I totally feel like we'll be able to bump things up next week and continue building from there. I've got a shitload on my plate and I'm trying to get through some of the backlog without continuing to get buried. It's not an easy undertaking and frankly, I suck at it. Well, I know I need to do better. I suppose that's a nicer way to put it. I'm still trying to find a new car. I'm about 90% on the financing but there are some things…

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So far so good

The mood in The Autism Dad household is significantly better after a good night's sleep. It was a weird night's sleep though, at least for Emmett and myself. I woke up a few times throughout the night and so did Emmett. I feel like it was bad dream related. Actually, as I'm writing this, I remembered the dream and I understand why I kept waking up. Anyway, I'm a bit tired but overall, pretty good. Everyone seems to be feeling well and getting them to school doesn't appear like it's going to be a problem. That doesn't mean that I won't get a phone call later but the fact that they're willingly going is a positive thing. After dropping them off, Gavin and I are going to go walking. I…

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I had a f*cking terrible, heartbreaking afternoon

I'm going be very honest with you tonight, I'm not having the best of days. I know that I'm going to have days where I'm doing okay and others where I'm barely able to breathe. Today is one of those days where I'm barely able to breathe. If I told you that I was feeling overwhelmed by everything, that would be akin to saying the Grand Canyon is just a ditch. It's an understatement of magnanimous proportions. Most of the time I don't think about my marriage imploding, how much responsibility I have, or how lonely this all feels. Most of the time I try to focus on the positive and continue working to forge a new path forward. Other times, however, I feel like I'm being buried alive and…

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I don’t know what to do with myself

The kids left a couple hours ago and it's something that I'm still getting used to. I love every breath just to be around my kids. When there gone, it's like I don't know what to do with myself. Weird huh? It's something that I'll adjust to over time and they're never gone for more than 24 hours or so. It's good for them and I need to find things to occupy my me time. This is my exhausted but putting in the effort look. I mentioned yesterday that I was craving Chipotle. It's been a couple of months since I was last there and I figured, what the hell. Rather than just go get a burrito, I decided I should earn the burrito first. As soon as the kids…

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I totally earned the world’s okayest Dad award today

Typically, I'm pretty hard on myself. I don't often cut myself any slack and I carry around guilt that I probably shouldn't. Okay, I carry around guilt that I know I shouldn't but do anyway, but in fairness, that's very common for special needs parents. Anyway, today was one of the busiest days I've had in a very long time. I got the kids up after not sleeping well. Lunches were packed and we left for school on time. I even had both kids going willingly and right now, that's a hugely positive thing. On the way home, Gavin and I went for a walk. He did really well. Often he sorta of scuffs or drags his feet when he walks. This makes him prone to tripping or losing his…

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