Read more about the article My Moment of Clarity
Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

My Moment of Clarity

I woke up this morning, super early, filled with clarity, and laser focused. The laser focused part might be a bit of an exaggeration but I wish I was laser focused. The clarity part is very true, however. Life is full of twists and turns, detours and delays, setbacks and forward progress, joys and heartaches, successes and failures. I have found that moments of pain can lead to a certain clarity that I wouldn't have gained otherwise. Sure, it's messed up that I can't seem to find that same clarity elsewhere but it's still positive, right? I'm going to keep being me. I'm going to keep bettering myself. I'm going to keep moving my kids forward. I'm going to keep growing my business. I'm going to keep believing in myself.…

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April 20, 2021
Read more about the article I pushed the limits of my comfort level a bit but I think we did good
After Divorce / Elliott / Happy Birthday / Parenting

I pushed the limits of my comfort level a bit but I think we did good

Elliott's birthday was largely successful. I think it was anyway. After the boys finished class for the day, I got them over to see Lizze and we hung out in the driveway for about twenty minutes. Everyone was double masked and socially distanced. The boys were able to get hugs from their mom that's always a big thing for them. Like I said yesterday, this wasn't ideal and I felt a little uncomfortable but I also think we were both safe and smart about it. Sometimes, the emotional wellbeing of the kids involves limited and calculated risk. I ordered pizza prior to our arrival and timed it such that we would pick it up on the way home. It kept us on a schedule and it's what Elliott wanted for…

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March 5, 2021
Read more about the article I’m trying to make my son’s 2nd birthday while on #COVID lockdown a happy one
After Divorce / Elliott / My thoughts / Parenting

I’m trying to make my son’s 2nd birthday while on #COVID lockdown a happy one

As you may or may not know, today is Elliott's 15th birthday. Today also marks the second birthday in row that he's celebrated on COVID lockdown. While Lizze and I are trying to make arrangements for the boys to go over, it's not a quick process. There's a lot of planning that goes into visits when you are in the middle of a pandemic and have high risk people in both households. Elliott is bummed because he wasn't going to be able to see his mom on his birthday. As bad as this is going to sound, I was excited to to hear that he was feeling this way. The reason for that is not because I'm a dick but rather it shows me that he is indeed healing and…

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March 4, 2021
Read more about the article It can be hard to not drown in all the negativity
My thoughts

It can be hard to not drown in all the negativity

I've been feeling a little overwhelmed this week. Elliott is having sleep problems and he's in full on stubborn teenage mode. That means I can't get a great deal of cooperation from him in regards to getting his sleep cycle reset. He's stressed out and probably a bit depressed. I think that's completely understandable but we need to right this ship because it interferes with school and it's simply not healthy. That was the focus of therapy tonight. Hopefully, we can begin getting him back on track. I've opted to skip this week's podcast release because I have to much work that needs to get done and production is very time consuming. I could cramm everything in but that would increase my stress levels and I'm trying to be kind…

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March 2, 2021
Read more about the article I’m reprioritizing my daily life
My thoughts

I’m reprioritizing my daily life

I'm kinda pushing myself to get through today. Nothing drastic has changed but I'm feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I'm relieved that my life is finally moving forward and I can begin implementing some of the things I've been waiting to do. That's all positive. At the same time, however, I feel depleted and out of sorts. I slept pretty good last night and that's good. The problem I believe, is more about the years of stress, pain, and exhaustion that have culminated since 2014. All of that has finally reached its conclusion, and I don't have to be strong or stoic anymore for myself or my kids. I'm able to let myself feel these things now. I'm starting over and in order to do that, I have to go through…

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February 14, 2021
Read more about the article Having reasonable expectations for myself
My thoughts

Having reasonable expectations for myself

It's Thursday and that means the last day of school for the week. Fridays are deemed independent work days and that essentially means that it's a day where the kids get caught up on any school work they haven't finished. If they're current, it's a free day. I'm pretty sure both boys are caught up but I'll know for sure after they're done with school today. I went to bed in a not so good place and woke up feeling better. Emmett must have had a nightmare because I woke up several times because he kicked me. When I fell asleep last night, Emmett was safely tucked into his own bed and fast asleep. I'm not sure what happened. Either way, I'm glad I could be there for him to…

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February 11, 2021
Read more about the article A long overdue emotional exhale
My thoughts

A long overdue emotional exhale

I feel like my day started off amazingly well and then it slowly, methodically descended into chaos as the day went on. I managed to get some work done but not enough and that's really frustrating me. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and in the process of figuring out how to go about building a new life. Emmett is struggling because he apparently was under the impression the divorce had been finalized for a long time. When it discovered that it wasn't going to be finalized until yesterday, it really upset him. I didn't know he had misunderstood the situation for so long and I'm not sure what lead to the confusion. Unfortunately, he now feels like the whole thing has been reopened. He's on a hair trigger right now and it's…

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February 10, 2021
Read more about the article Why I don’t believe time heals all wounds
Divorce / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

Why I don’t believe time heals all wounds

Yesterday was honestly one of the hardest days of my life but I survived. My marriage of nearly two decades officially came to an end, oddly enough, with the same words that it began with, I do. Our court hearing took place over the phone, at my attorney's office. It's kinda weird doing something like this over the phone but COVID has changed a great many things on our daily lives. The whole process took only a few minutes and it basically ended with the Lizze and I each being asked if we wanted to the court to adopt our agreement. I hadn't recognized the irony of answering that question with I do until 24 hours later, as I was writing this. The question was asked something like this. Robert,…

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February 10, 2021