I’m kinda pushing myself to get through today. Nothing drastic has changed but I’m feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I’m relieved that my life is finally moving forward and I can begin implementing some of the things I’ve been waiting to do. That’s all positive.
At the same time, however, I feel depleted and out of sorts. I slept pretty good last night and that’s good. The problem I believe, is more about the years of stress, pain, and exhaustion that have culminated since 2014. All of that has finally reached its conclusion, and I don’t have to be strong or stoic anymore for myself or my kids. I’m able to let myself feel these things now. I’m starting over and in order to do that, I have to go through and not around these emotions.
I’m actually in a pretty good place and have a bright future ahead of me. I just need time to fully realize that.
No amount of sleep is making me feel rested at the moment because my exhaustion is emotional and the only thing that can ease that burden is time. Also therapy – so time and therapy.
The boys have school off tomorrow which is good because we’re slated to get 12 inches of snow tonight and tomorrow. Not that it really matters because we’re remote learning but when the snow arrives, the kids can play outside for a little while and just be kids.
I don’t have any interviews scheduled for this week and that’s also good. I already have 2 in the tank and half a dozen other interviews scheduled over the next month. I’m really excited about the Cleveland Clinic coming on the show at the end of March.
Anyway, my goal at this point is to reprioritize my daily life. I have to focus on work more than I currently am. That means the boys are going to have to leave me alone during certain hours. I don’t really know what else to do at this point. I have to get caught up and that means putting my foot down when it comes to unnecessary interpretations. That’s going to prove challenging but a new balance must be struck.
I’m hoping to get Gavin started with Mightier this week. I’m waiting on something before I can start that journey. I think it’s really important that Gavin gain better control over his emotions and Mightier can absolutely help him with that.
He’s actually excited about getting started because he recognizes that he needs help in this area. Frankly, I’m crazy proud of him for seeing that. That shows a level of self awareness that is needed to improve this area of his life. I have complete faith in Gavin’s ability to learn and grow. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is improvement.
I’ll be updating you all as to our progress as we move forward.